La Fille de L'équipe ROUGE
by Euphoric Lolita
Summary: A college track-rat and online gamer, Lily lets her obsession with Team Fortress 2 go a little too far. Transported to the RED Team's base, Lily will have to fight to win the trust, friendship, and affection of her comrades to get herself back home. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**So, yeah, you guessed it. This new story has become my creative outlet for another obsession of mine: TF2. Truthfully, I'm just gonna wing it. Right now, it's 9 AM on a Thursday, and I think I'm about to go crazy if I don't write something. I present to you... La Fille de L'équipe Rouge (can anyone guess that I saw La Fille du Regiment before writing this?)**

**1**

"What was my time?"

"Er...five minutes and forty-three seconds. New record, Lily."

"Crud, I knew I- wait...really?"

The short, slightly-pudgy blonde girl on the sidelines nodded and handed the stopwatch to the runner, an up-and-coming college track-rat by the name of Lily McAllister. She was 20, and stood about five feet and five inches in height, with jet black hair, fair skin adorned with numerous freckles, and green eyes. In her hair were several streaks of red which merely peekabooed out of her ponytail. Bangs were swept to the side and slightly damp with sweat, when they were usually meant to hang just above her eyes.

Gazing at the stopwatch, Lily let out a squeal and pumped her fist into the air. "Booyah, baby!" she cried happily.

"You know, I don't understand why you didn't try out for the campus team," the blonde piped up.

"Bianca, sod off," Lily said with a grin. "You know Coach McCann just wants to recruit girls with fucking melons attached to their chests..." Her gaze traveled down to her own chest. _They won't even pass as apples..._

"You would think the coach would get a team together of girls with small loads. With boobs that big, it's amazing those girls don't topple over onto their faces."

"Point: has been seen." The runner walked over to the bench, picking up her water bottle, bringing it to her lips, and swigging down the liquid it contained. "Thanks for track-spotting me."

Bianca pushed her hand through the air in a 'pshaw' gesture. "Not a prob'. Much better than being confined to my room with my always-tipsy roommates. Last night, one of them brought home another dude."

"No detes, please." Lily ran a hand through her hair. "I know exactly what I'm gonna do when I get back to my dorm." A playful, yet mischievous grin worked its way across her thin, pink lips, which only widened as she heard her friend's groan.

"Let me guess. Team Fortress 2?"

An even widen grin. A nod. Another hopeless groan. "What do you see in that game anyway, Lily? I kinda want to kill your older sister for buying it for you. It's so dumb."

"...It is not!" Lily argued rudely, pouting. "It's one of the best games out there. And you know that you told me the first day of me playing it that you thought the Scout was cute."

"That's true, bu-"

"A-bup-bup!" Lily's hand came up, shushing her friend, unwilling to hear her argument. "If a game can get you to like a fictional gaming character - you, someone who is chained to reality and constantly teases me for being a fangirl of every androgynous piece of ass to walk across my TV screen - then the game isn't dumb." She gently brushed off both shoulders as a gesture of the victory she knew she had just claimed.

Bianca opened her mouth with furrowed brows, in an attempt to protest angrily or say some rude remark, but finally snapped her lips shut again. She had no comeback witty enough. "You never told me who your favorite character is..."

"Gotcha." Lily reached for her hoodie, pulling it on over her clothes before grabbing her backpack and sliding one strap on over her shoulder. "And that's easy. It's the Sniper. He's the rugged type, dedicated to his job and doing it right, while being nothing short of a gentleman. Anyway, care to rendezvous after battle in the mess hall?"

"You mean, meet in the dining hall after you finish your nerd-fest?" Bianca countered, raising her brow. After a moment of silence, she could only laugh and shake her head. "Alright, but if I see you go for a sandwich, you get a fork in your neck."

Lily laughed along with her friend. "Agreed. I'll catch you later." Placing her water bottle in her bag, and giving a quick wave, she was then off, heading out of the campus gymnasium and into the cold toward her dorm building. It was rather sunny for the time being five o'clock, and Lily knew that the spring was well on its way. Thank goodness; being in the north during the end of February wasn't anything enjoyable, and the two prior months had been hell. Well, it would be if hell had frozen over. Lily's dorm had rather decent heating and a bed full of blankets for her to fall onto, so it'd be hard to tear herself from her temporary home later to meet up with Bianca for dinner.

After a good seven-minute walk, Lily found herself on the doorstep of her dorm apartment, fishing out her key and opening the door. She had caught a lucky break, and was given a two-bedroom, two-bathroom loft to share with three friends. It had a kitchen of its own, a living room, a back porch, and a rather spacious basement that was used for what Lily liked to call "Game Night." Some Apples to Apples, a few bottles of wine, and many good times. Breathing in happily, the door was closed with one rough push of Lily's foot, and she immediately headed upstairs to her bedroom. The games were about to begin.

Lily let out a sigh of relief as she saw that no one was around. Her roommates did like her, but what they hated about her were her battle cries during games of Team Fortress 2, and the occasional dose of 'mic-spamming.' Now that she was alone, Lily could curse and yell all she wanted. But first, she decided to find solace in the fact that with no one around, she could shower. And sing her boisterous little heart out.

* * *

"Medic, don't you dare 'Über' me. Do it to the Hea- GODDAMMIT!"

Lily pounded down on the keys of her computer in anger, while she continued to bark orders into the microphone on the end of her headset. She had tied her wet hair back after her shower for it to dry on its own, and had dressed herself in a black T-shirt with a red tank top over it, and a pair of jeans. In the background, her radio was blasting a mix CD she had made of her favorite 80s metal songs. Her class for the day: Scout. It was one of her favorites, and she enjoyed the adrenaline rush she got from watching her character speed along the map's terrain, hop into the air, and take down the larger targets. Grinning, her index finger hovered over the left button on the mouse, ready to deliver a blow right to the back of an inattentive Demoman's head.

That's when things went downhill. The environment around her character disappeared, as did the arms and gun that protruded out of the bottom of her screen. It was replaced by the welcome screen, showing a still image of a Heavy, Medic, and Spy in the corner. A small, gray popup window read: "Disconnected from server. Rest and try again." Lily's emerald eyes widened in shock, and followed up with a groan of irritation.

"Goddamn jank college internet connection," she muttered, resting her forehead against the screen. "Why can't they just tell us when the internet is gonna be shitty...?" After a moment, Lily pulled her head up, trying again and clicking on the words 'Find Servers.' There were a good number of others she could join, and just in her 'Favorites' tab. They were the only ones she cared to join anyway, for the players who populated them were a bit more lenient if she were to make a mistake. Gazing over her list, her jaw fell as she saw that each of her servers was completely full.

"Are you shitting me?" She clicked the 'Refresh' button, scrolling down again. Still all full.

"...I..._hate_ the internet."

That's when her fist met the keyboard, causing the computer to emit a loud beeping sound. This rang through Lily's headset, and on high volume, it wasn't the most comforting thing. Her head twitched, and she began to inwardly rant. _Curse the college internet, curse the people hogging the servers, and curse the fact that I can't stop playing this fucking game! _

Lily clicked on the 'Refresh' button once more...and that single click was followed by twenty or so more. Each failed attempt caused a growl of anger to bubble up in her throat. _Fuck...fuck...fuck...FUCK! STOP PLAYING!_ Lily froze. Who exactly was she yelling at that time, herself or the people already in the servers? With her habits, she couldn't help but feel like it was intended for both parties.

"Alright, one more refresh," she promised herself out loud. "If nothing opens up, I'll walk away and call up Bianca to get dinner." _Oh please, let me play one more round..._ Holding her breath and biting softly on her lower lip, her finger lowered ever so carefully onto the mouse, pressing on the button as if it would shatter with too much pressure. When the options for servers finally reloaded, Lily scrolled down the list, green eyes darting ever so slowly from one server to the next. She soon could scroll down no more, and let out a hopeless sigh. "Figures..." she muttered, her mouse icon moving up to the 'X' in the corner of window to close it.

"...Wait a second."

Lily cursed her curiosity as one eye darted back to the bottom of the list. Her brow became cocked as she noticed the map name: 'LIVE.' Lily sat back in her seat for a moment. Being the Team Fortress 2 'enthusiast' she was, she knew every map in the game. This definitely wasn't one of them. And, to the best of her knowledge, no further updates had been made to the game play.

Shrugging her shoulders, Lily double-clicked on the new server, and was, surprisingly, instantly connected to the game without the usual loading screen coming up on the monitor. The server's opening screen appeared on it several seconds later, and she could already hear the sounds of battle cries in the background, along with the other characters firing rounds into the air. Grinning a bit to herself, feeling quite pleased that she could finally sneak in one final game, Lily clicked on 'Continue,' and to her surprise, the screen went completely white, emitting a glow that made her reel back.

"**MISSION BEGINS IN THIRTY SECONDS.**"

"What the-?!" In absolute shock, Lily rose from her seat, backing away from the computer, causing the ends of her headset to unplug themselves. She pushed the headset down so it hung around her neck, and looked around. She could still hear the sounds of Black Sabbath's 'Crazy Train' playing on low-volume from her radio, but there had to be something else in that room. She could swear the Announcer's voice was in her do-

"**MISSION BEGINS IN TEN SECONDS!**"

Confirmed.

The sounds of combat from the server, while growing louder in her headphones, paled in comparison of volume to the booming voice of the Announcer that echoed through her room. Lily's heart began to pound out of her chest, and she struggled to maintain her posture. Almost toppling over, her body swayed over toward the wall, and the girl pressed her palm against it, giving her stance some insurance.

"What the hell is happening...?" she asked, begging for answers from someone that wasn't there. Or maybe she hoped for some reply from the Announcer. Either way, it was a set of answers that would never come.

"**FIVE...**"

Lily's eyes shot back to the computer screen, still glowing white.

"**FOUR...THREE...**"

She felt her breath catch in her throat, as if she were suffocating on the air itself.

"**TWO...**"

_What the hell...?! Why can't I move? Lily Anne McAllister, get your ass to that computer and turn it off!_

"**ONE...**"

_Shit._

The computer's fan began to turn loudly and furiously inside the external hard drive, almost as if it were desperately trying to cool the computer down. The glow emanating from the monitor became almost blinding, and filled the room. Lily's eyes closed tightly, and her free hand came up to shield her pale face. It almost burned to be standing in the light.

The world began to dissolve around her. Lily's knees buckled, and soon gave way beneath her. She couldn't tell whether or not she had felt the collision of her body with the carpeted floor of her dorm...

* * *

_Ugh...what happened?_

Lily's eyes shot as her brain quickly registered her surroundings. She was standing up, yet was unable to move, contained by four metal walls. It was almost as if she was shoved into a locker.

Wait a second...a locker?!

Lily bit on her lower lip to hold in a sound of shock. She tried to take a deep breath, and was instantly greeted by the smell of sweaty clothes. She could've gagged if her mind wasn't otherwise distracted. Pulling her fist back, Lily saw only one way to get herself out of her claustrophobic prison: pound on the door until someone comes along to let her out.

"Yo, Doc! You sure these heah needles ain't gonna kill me?"

Lily's green eyes widened, and her fist came to an immediate halt one inch from the locker's door. She recognized that voice.

"_Nein_, Scout," another voice, thick with a German accent, replied. This one sounded rather annoyed, as if the owner had been pestered continuously and was about ready to snap. "Ze syringes are filled vith a deadly poison, but you vere only hit vith ein syringe. _Ein syringe! _And I pulled it from your neck vithin ein second, you little _hurensohn_!"

A sigh was heard, followed by a third voice. It was a bit clearer - American - yet its flavor was definitely southern. "Look here, Scout. We're all tired, you got outta there alive, and you pestering someone who knows what he's talking 'bout with a small problem like this doesn't help relax us any."

"Stay outta it, Engie..."

_Scout...? Engie?! Christ, what the hell is this?_ Reaching down, Lily's nails gripped onto a bit of flesh on her arm and pinched hard. Just as she was dreading, she felt the pain. It all made sense now, and to tell herself where she was and how she got there made her head spin. Her breathing began to speed up, and become slightly audible to herself. She had to calm herself down. Yet, her mind stayed focused on the outcomes of both staying in that locker, or being discovered. If she stayed in the locker, she would either wake up from whatever strange dream she was trapped in, or simply waste away until someone found her. If the locker was opened, she'd either be shot or-

"EEP!" The door was swung open, Lily's eyes meeting those of what looked like the RED Team Scout. The surface she was resting on had given way, sending her stumbling onto the ground and landing flat on her face with an 'oomph.' She groaned, hearing several sounds of surprise and panic before looking up. She was surrounded, and found herself staring into the barrels of several different firearms. How joyous...

**Welp, hope you enjoyed. I know, this kind of plot isn't the most popular on sites such as this, but I wanted to give it a try. Not to mention, the transition of Lily from one world into the 1960s computer world of TF2 wasn't the easiest endeavor. Alright, comment and let me know what you think. I might also take suggestions, seeing as how along with the main plot, several chapters I write will be just ridiculous comedy fillers; complete free-for-alls. So, got an idea? Comment me with it, and I'll work something out. Thanks!**

**Translations: **

**_Hurensohn_**** = son of a bitch.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, so maybe I lied. I had waaay too much fun writing the first chapter of this story, so I decided to put my other two on hold until I have this second chapter out. Actually...I have a feeling the other two stories will be updated in very close succession of this one. Meh, whatever. Enjoy, guys.**

**2**

Lily's green eyes went wide. The RED Team had cornered her, blocking any exit she could possibly have. The only one without their weapon pointed in her face was the Scout, who was still in complete disbelief that a girl had stumbled out of his locker. So this is how it would end. The young woman couldn't decide which way would be the least painful to die by: an arrow from the Sniper, or a knife jammed into her gut, or even her body blistering in an inferno at the hands of the Pyro. She backed up against the locker, whimpering when her back met the cold metal surface. If there was any reassurance within her to say that this was a dream, it had just been extinguished. Her eyes squeezed shut in fear. _Oh god, maybe I should've listened to Bianca..._

Yet, to Lily's surprise, no blow, bullet, or blade came her way. The first thing she heard was the Spy scoff. "Tell me, Scout," he said in his smooth tone, "how truly desperate are you to not be a virgin anymore?" He slowly got down on one knee, using his blade to gingerly nudge Lily's chin up. She opened her eyes, and found no relief in the Spy's cold, blue orbs. "She is certainly a pretty one, I'll give you zat."

The Scout spent a good several seconds stammering, trying his hardest to create a comeback without having to resort to his usual method of a loud outburst. However, that was just in his nature, and it never failed him. "You honestly think I would stick some random broad in my lockah, ya dumbass?!" he countered, before taking a look back at the girl. "Eh, she doesn't look like anythin' special."

A rather annoyed-sounding scoff passed Lily's lips. Standing up rather abruptly, she reached out, grabbing the Scout's shirt by the collar and pulling him in closer to her face. Her glare was the equivalent of what most men referred to as "pure evil." "Listen, you punk, you'd be _lucky_ if you ever got anything remotely _close _to me," she hissed at him. She mentally debated on whether or not to spit in his face.

Yet, she was stopped. Stepping up, the Soldier slid his shotgun between the two, giving Lily's side a rather hard nudge to the stomach. "Alright, that's enough outta you, little lady," he said. While one hand adjusted the helmet on his head, the other pulled the weapon back up, pointing right at Lily's heart. "Now listen: if you're a Spy, I suggest you surrender right now, before this locker room becomes decorated with your own insides."

Lily quirked a brow. "...You think I'm a Spy?" Letting out a nervous sigh, and ready to explain herself, she looked up at the Soldier to meet his eyes, but of course to be intercepted by the dulled face of his helmet. "Listen, I don't know how I got here either. I was back at my dorm, using my computer when I ended up blacking out and finding myself in the Scout's goddamn locker! Go ahead. Search-"

But Lily was unable to finish. Grabbing one of her bony shoulders, the Soldier spun the girl around and forced her against the locker without a word. "What the- what are you doing?!"

"Quiet_..._" Palms pressed to the metal, Lily let out a groan of embarrassment as the RED 'militant' patted her down. Soon, he came to her pockets, and Lily felt one of them empty. She gulped anxiously.

"What in the world is _this _thing?" the Soldier asked sternly. His large hand held her MP3 player carefully, as if he were afraid it was some sort of detonation device.

Lily turned around, spotting her Zune being held captive for inspection, and sighed. "That's my MP3 player."

"And what would that be?" Pressing a button, the Soldier watched as the screen lit up. The album art from Jethro Tull's _Songs from the Wood_ album covered the screen, while on the bottom it read 'Cup of Wonder.' The Soldier growled, knowing instantly who the band was, and who was associated with them. "What is a hippie doing with this kind of techno-"

"Gimme that." The Engineer walked over and took the Zune, looking it over. Without taking off his goggles, he gazed at the small box-like contraption, making several 'hmm' sounds as he went along. He was also familiar with this band, having heard a song or two. Yet, this album was fairly new to him, and Jethro Tull had only just been introduced to the public eye. "Anyone know if that there Tull band came out with _two_ albums this year?"

Lily sighed. "_Songs from the Wood_ doesn't come out until 1977," she said. "You still have close to a decade before you hear anything from that album."

The Engineer's brow furrowed. Stepping closer to Lily, who had turned around, he held the MP3 player up. "Mind tellin' us where you got this thing, and what it is?"

To this, the young girl let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "Like I said - it's an MP3 player. I use it to play music." She saw the stout man's large hand extend to her, inviting her to retake her possession, which she did gratefully. Pulling on the wire at the end of her headset, she stuck the jack into a hole at the bottom of the Zune. Pressing a button, the team soon heard the muffled sounds of a flute being played, causing them all to let out various noises of intrigue. "And trust me, Engineer. If I told any of you where I got this from, and where _I _happen to come from, I'd be locked up in the wacky-shack."

"Well, you might as well try us," he said, his concealed eyes darting toward her headset. It was so much different from the one the Scout owned...

Lily laughed again, then sighed. "Alright, might as well. I'm not from this time, or even from this world. In my world...you all are fictional characters from a...computer game." She flinched, fully prepared for the outbursts of laughter she was about to get.

"No doubt she's a hippie," the Soldier piped up after a minute of silence. "She has to be on some kind of substance."

The girl groaned in aggravation. "Alright, listen." At this point, if she was going to go down, she wasn't going without a fight. "One, just because there's some Tull on that device doesn't mean I'm a hippie. Two, I don't do drugs; programs at school kept me from that. And three...goddammit, I am telling you the truth! I know I sound crazy, and I don't expect you to believe me right off the bat, but I am not lying."

The Engineer took hold of the Zune once again, looking at the thin side of it where the headset was attached. Noticing the empty slot brought him to ask his next question. "...Where do you plug this thing? Is this where you put...whatever chip or disk has your music?"

"No, you plug the device into a computer using another wire," Lily explained. "You get your music off a computer, song by song, and place it on the MP3 player. It then organizes the songs by title, artist, genre, and album alphabetically. That MP3 player can hold up to 10,000 songs, but I know some that can hold-"

"Whoa, whoa." The Engineer chuckled, putting his hands up to silence her. Deep down, something to him seemed...off, but he'd keep his uncertainty to himself for now. "You mean to tell me that you use a computer to put all of 10,000 songs onto this lil' contraption here? Honey, I have eleven PhD's. I know for certain that no computer on the market, includin' the ones in other countries, can do that. What model do you own?"

"Lenovo T500 ThinkPad. My model was built in 2009."

Several gasps.

"Mrrph, mrh mrph-mrrmph mrph-mrh-mrrph!" the Pyro exclaimed, scratching its head in confusion.

Lily raised her brow, somewhat confused. "Uhh...what?"

"He said it's 1968," the Medic answered rather courteously, pushing back a stand of his black hair.

"Oh, right. Thanks. See what I mean? Devices like my MP3 player won't be released until the 1990s, and those will end up being very expensive and very low-quality compared to this. Come on, at least believe me on the whole time difference thing!"

With a sigh, the Engineer found himself staring back down at the device in his gloved hand, rolling it over again and again between his large fingers. At this point, he didn't know who or what to believe. The proof was right in front of him that this girl wasn't from his time, and he had a damn good feeling that if he took both the headset _and _Zune apart, he'd find even more things that wouldn't even be in consideration for construction in 1968. He reached under his helmet to rub his temple, and let out a sigh. After today, he was going to need to lie down and sleep late into the next day.

"...I believe her."

The others struggled to protest, or at least get one word in edgewise. They knew deep down that the Engineer was right. Yet, at the same time, they all refused to believe it.

"Engie, are ya kiddin' me?!" the Demoman exclaimed. His hand tightened around his bottle of scotch. "Are ye supposed to 'ave us believe that this li'l lassie magically poofed into our base?! How d'ya know she ain't workin' for the BLUs?"

"One, my sentries would have taken her out if she was, both at the front and back of our base. Two, all these lockers here are secured when they're closed. Three...I'm holdin' the proof in my hand."

Lily smiled softly. Finally, she had someone on her side. "Thanks, Engie," she said softly. "I...hope this isn't too much for you to take in."

"Honey, you have no idea," the Engineer countered, laughing weakly as if he were on the verge of passing out. "Now, as for that thing about us being characters in a game...save that for tomorrow."

"Yeah, mate. You look like you need a bit of a sleep."

Lily froze, turning her head in the direction of the voice. Her eyes landed on the Sniper, who had his hand resting in a friendly gesture on the Engineer's shoulder. Only one image popped into Lily's head: a cartoon version of herself, eyes bulging out of their sockets as she let out an excited wolf howl. Being in an alternate dimension, Lily wondered if actually doing that could be possible. What she didn't know is that she was staring, and her face had just turned cherry red.

"'Ey, girly." The Scout, sporting a crude grin, reached his Sandman over, prodding Lily's arm with it and instantly receiving her full attention. "What's with the doe eyes? Got a crush on Snipes heyah?"

Once again, Lily gave the young man a glare. "Piss off, little-league." She looked back over at the Sniper, who had one brow raised in both confusion and intrigue. "Sorry about that..." Her gaze traveled to the floor. "I'm still a bit in disbelief about the...whole...time and space thing."

After a moment's silence, the Sniper chuckled, shaking his head. "It's alright, little sheila," he said warmly. Though Lily was rather intimidating to him, he knew to be polite to a young woman.

Hearing this only made Lily blush more. _Lily, you are standing face-to-face with one of your favorite fictional characters, and he just smiled at you and called you 'little sheila.' How are you not fainting by now?_ Shaking her inner voice away, Lily giggled a bit, before hearing the Soldier clear his throat and abruptly stopping.

"So...this young girl on our side?" the Heavy asked, looking over at his comrades.

"Well, I was playing as RE-" Lily stopped, and cleared her throat. "Sorry. Well, if I appeared here in your base, and not the BLU Team's, I guess I kinda am. Or, I pass as someone on your team...right?"

The Soldier let out another sound, this one sounding more like a 'hmph,' followed by, "For the time being. There's still a good deal we need to figure out about you, little lady."

Lily's eyes narrowed a bit. "Lily," she said rather sternly. "Sorry for the tone, Soldier, but my name is Lily. And no, that isn't another possible indicator that I could be a hippie." The girl grinned when she spotted the man's mouth open mid-sentence, unaware that she would be able to beat him to the punch. He quickly snapped his jaws shut once again, before clearing his throat.

"Anyway, we need to find some place to put you before we can find out more tomorrow," he said. "We just got back from work, and technically, we're exhausted." Looking around the room, the Soldier grinned as he landed on the Scout. "_You_ can handle a job like this, right, son?"

The Scout gawked at him, completely flabbergasted. "A-are you freakin' kiddin' me?" he quipped. "You really think I'm gonna share my room with...a chick? And one who will probably wring my neck before the night's out?"

"If zhe dummkopf can't handle ein syringe in his neck, zhen I doubt he can handle zhis young fräulein," the Medic finally said, grinning wickedly toward the brat who constantly was on his last nerve.

"Watch it, Nazi-boy..." the Scout growled, before throwing his hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright! She can stay with me. I probably won't be gettin' to sleep anyway..."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Please, you're not worth it. I'm not too wild about staying...wherever you're staying. I just want to go home."

"Well, it's gonna take a while to get ya back to wherever ya came from," the Engineer pointed out. "But, either way, once we get the details down straight, I'm willin' to help ya out."

"Thanks, Engie- er, I mean Engineer." Lily scratched the back of her head, blushing once more in embarrassment.

"Don't sweat it, honey." _Dear god, man, what are you gettin' yourself into_, the Engineer thought, already going through enough mental strain. _You're probably not gonna get this girl back to wherever she came from. Why make a promise like that? _"Scout, just take Lily to your room in the barracks. She'll sleep on whatever bunk you're not usin'."

"Aw!" The Scout scowled, which almost appeared to be a stubborn pout. "That means I gotta actually clean my room. Son-of-a-_bitch!_" Looking over at Lily, who by now was trying her hardest not to crack a bigger smile, he motioned with his hand. "C'mon, I guess..." By now, the Scout sounded nothing short of disappointed, which deep inside, Lily was savoring to the fullest extent. As the two pushed by the rest, Lily dodged the stares, keeping her eyes locked on the ground. When they were finally out of the locker room, the Soldier looked over at the Engineer.

"You think we can trust her?" he asked.

"Well, I have this," the Engineer replied, holding up the MP3 player that Lily had never taken back. "I'll have to take a closer look at it, just to double-check and make sure her story is solid. By tomorrow, we'll know what's up."

* * *

Lily cringed as the Scout unlocked his barrack room and kicked open the door. He had started to cool down on the walk back, but he was still a rather reckless young man. "Alright, this is where I live for the time bein'," he said with a discontented sigh, throwing his bag off his back and tossing it in a nearby corner, causing a wooden-sounding 'clunk' to ring through both young adults' ears. The room itself was rather orderly, though things covered the floors, including several pin-up and adult magazines. There was a bunk bed, a table, and a cushioned, wooden chair. Almost reminded Lily of the freshman dorms back at her college.

"You get the top bunk," the Scout continued, taking off his hat and throwing it on the table. "I'll clean my stuff up latah'. Right now, I gotta go showah', so you can lounge on the bottom bunk or at the desk. Just...don't touch any of my shit, alright?"

The track rat rolled her eyes, before sitting down on the edge of the bottom bunk with a sigh. "Fine, fine..." She looked beneath her feet, spotting an old-fashioned copy of Playboy lying near her right foot. Moving away with a sound of disgust, she looked back up at the Scout. "Yeah, I am definitely not touching any of your stuff. God only knows what _doesn't _have remnants of your damn seed on it."

The Scout glared nastily at her, before grabbing a towel hanging on a hook on the back of his door, and leaving, a quick mutter of the word 'bitch' being his only response. The second the door closed Lily pressed her face into her open palms, letting out a sigh. One of feet bounced lightly yet nervously on the hard floor below her, making her leg move rather rapidly. Every nerve in Lily's body told her to let out some emotional response - to cry, to throw a fit, to go into absolute hysterics - but nothing came to her. Reaching into the pocket that hadn't been searched, Lily pulled out her cellphone, which was surprisingly still functioning. _Hmm, that's a shocker_, she thought as she began to flip through each one of the photos she had used her phone to take. It was like having a walk down memory lane after years of just forgetting everything. She saw her family, her friends, even a picture of her beloved cat that would wait for her to return home during breaks from classes. She laughed weakly to herself, unable to tell whether she was living in a fantasy or a nightmare. Hopefully, after she let the Engineer get another good look at her MP3 player - she didn't care if it was taken apart in the process anymore - things would be a bit better, and the whole team would know her story was one-hundred-percent authentic. All she was able to do now was hope...

...but even she knew that that wouldn't be nearly enough to get her back home in one piece.


	3. Chapter 3

**Geez, guys. I am really happy at all the feedback I'm getting from people. This story is being favorited left and right, and that's fantastic. It's also great that I am getting some forms of criticism from people; if it was all positive, I'd be a bit concerned, to be honest. PLEASE keep the feedback coming and let me know what you think. More reviews means a faster update. Ha, fanfiction hostage negotiations are glorious! Anyways, this chapter will be a bit more slow-paced, just focusing more on comedy. The next chapter will be shorter, but will have a bit more action in it, I promise you.**

**Btw, several popular culture/anime references in this chapter. I'll share my plantain chips with you if you get one. Hurry, they're my favorite flavor and are going fast.**

**3**

It was a Sunday in the Team Fortress 2 world. Date: Sunday, May 12, 1968. The date didn't really matter to Lily, but she figured a look over at the calendar on the Scout's room wall would be useful. She had been up all night thinking, and her eyes were red and puffy. She had been lying in the same position for the past several hours, barely moving, wondering about what it would mean to her once she had to face the others again.

Reaching for her cellphone, which she had kept on one side of the pillow, she checked the time. Barely 9 AM. That was swell; if any combat was to happen, it sure as hell would be rare for it to start now. At least, that's what Lily thought. She knew for a fact that not too many people on the servers she attended would be awake at this hour. That, or they would be off at church, or work, or even with family and friends. Either way, if this alternate reality held true to the game itself, Lily was relieved. No running for her life at the moment.

About five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. A firm, yet polite rapping. Lily could've laughed as she heard the Scout in the bunk above her mutter something about gigantic doughnuts. He sure as hell wasn't getting up. So, standing up and throwing her borrowed blanket off, Lily made her way over to the door. Opening it carefully so she didn't have to hear the Scout complain, she poked her head out to see the Engineer, staring back at her. His helmet wasn't on, and his goggles hung loosely around his neck, giving Lily a glimpse of his light green eyes.

"Uhm...hey, Engineer," she said softly, adjusting her hair. _Holy crap, he doesn't have his goggles on! This is awesome!_

"Mornin', Lily," he replied. The thirty-something Texan reached up and gave the back of his bald head a brief scratch. "Hope I didn't wake ya."

Lily smiled and shook her head. "Naw. There's no way in hell I could sleep with all this craziness happening to me."

"Heh, point. Uhm, I was wonderin' if you could come with me back to my workshop? I need to talk to ya 'bout that MC...P thingy ya showed us."

"MP3 player?" At that point, Lily felt as if she was being smug. "Uhm, sure, I'll go with you. One sec'." Walking to the side of the bed, she slipped her sneakers back on, before walking outside and closing the door behind her. She didn't care anymore if the Scout woke, and was somewhat delighted when she heard him curse her out in his sleep. "Let's go."

Nodding once, the Engineer led her through down the hallway and out of the mercenary barracks building. To Lily, the barracks had the same feel as both the freshman dorms of her college, and a hospital. The foyer of the building was adorned with different motivational and propaganda posters. Lily let her eyes wander over all that she could, and found herself locked on a poster with what appeared to be a 'silhouette' of the Administrator. She stopped for a moment to look at it more closely, and when the Engineer couldn't hear her footsteps anymore, he stopped, too.

"Everythin' alright, Lil'?" he asked.

Lily snapped out of her daze, stuttering a few times before letting out a nervous laugh. "Sorry if I'm slowing you down," she said. "It's just...I've always wondered what this place looked like in its entirety. I've never heard word of there being a barracks here."

"Oh...heh." The Engineer joined her, looking over some of the posters. "Yeah, there is. It's only here to house those of us that moved from other parts that don't have a place of their own. But, Demoman has his mom's place, Snipes has his camper van, and Pyro just...disappears." After hearing Lily give a sound of acknowledgment, and after a few moments of silence, he spoke up again. "You know 'bout the Administrator, right?"

"Yep, I do. Isn't she the one who likes to be on your guys' asses with how much time you have for missions? You know - FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THE MISSION**.**" Lily laughed, noticing that her impersonation of the Administrator sounded more like a British robot. She soon quieted when she realized that her guide was looking at her as if she had three heads.

"...What are y'all talkin' about?" he asked, crossing his arms. He didn't seem to be angry with Lily, though his expression displayed the exact opposite of happiness, but she knew what that gesture usually meant. It shrank her down a few notches. "The Administrator doesn't limit us on time on purpose. She just alarms us when them BLUs are tryin' to invade our side and do all kinds of stuff, like capture some of our settlement points. If they secure 'em long enough, they can use those areas to build whatever they want, like supply sheds an' the like. If we capture their points, we take whatever's around 'em down. Y'see, while BLU stands for-"

"Builders League United, and RED stands for Reliable Excavation Demolition. Didn't I tell you that I play thi-" Lily said no more. It'd be in her best interest not to refer to this world as just a 'game' anymore. Now that she was caught up in it, it was real life. "Nevermind."

The Engineer stared for a few moments, becoming more and more surprised at how much this girl knew of this war, before clearing his throat. "Uh, yeah, that's it. Well, she also lets us know if they're carryin' payloads around to blow some of our stuff up, or headin' to our intelligence base. For some reason, they always know whether we keep the damn thing in the Turbine or move it somewhere else for safe-keepin'. We usually retaliate against 'em or go 'n try to steal _their _intelligence instead. The Administrator usually keeps her eyes out for us, so we can at least be a bit prepared if something drastic happens."

Lily almost sighed. _The poor man, completely unaware of Helen's tyranny, _she thought. Letting the thought pass, the track rat grinned. Since he brought it up... "_What_ exactly is in that briefcase of yours?"

The Engineer shrugged. "Hell if I know, honey. Alls I know is that that woman does _not _want it taken. I assume it's full of important files about the BLUs that she keeps wantin' us to relocate over and over again. As long as we do what she says - go in there, handle the dirty work, kill any BLUs that get in our way, and just don't ask questions - we get rewarded with supplies and new weapons. Not to mention we do get paid, which makes this whole rigamarol' seem less pointless."

"Ah, so you're paid mercenaries that follow the leadership of some anonymous female bottle of crazy sauce who tells you to ki-"

"Shh!" As if he were trying to keep Lily from waking a sleeping bear, the Engineer put his hands up, ready to place one over the girl's mouth if needed. When she had stopped, and a confused look had plastered itself on her face, he spoke up again, this time in a whisper. "Don't talk 'bout the Administrator like that. She don't take kindly to comments like that. And you never know when she's _not _listenin' to us."

_Ah. Creepoid. So Engie _is _aware of what might be going on... _Some things began to make sense to Lily. Maybe the players on both teams had trapped themselves in this situation. Maybe after the constant rivalry the REDs had with the BLUs, there were still a few stones left unturned. All the Team Fortress 2 trivia websites that Lily had found told her about the Administrator's, or Helen's, severe lack of remorse, logic, and sanity. She was the one who had started this war, and had made it worse because of one silly little friendship. So what if the BLU Soldier and the RED Demoman had developed a friendship? To Lily, it didn't seem like the effect would be too noticeable in the grand scheme of things. Still, to keep herself, a free-thinker, from possibly being killed on the spot because of a few rude comments, she kept her thoughts to herself. "Sorry, Engie."

"It's alright," the Engineer said, patting the girl's shoulder. "Just...be careful with what ya say, alright?" Gesturing with one of his comically-large hands, he led Lily out of the building, and out into the warm, dry morning air the Badlands had to offer.

Lily shielded her eyes with one hand from the merciless sun as she followed the Engineer. Keeping her eyes on the ground, staring at his feet, she followed him along the dusty land to a shed a few hundred yards from the barracks. Lily, being a girl from the southern United States, was used to bright sun during the summer, but it was winter back in her world, and this sun from a video game universe was - for lack of a better term - ridiculous. Looking back, the Engineer caught a glimpse of the girl, and held the door of the shed open for her to enter first. After she was in, and had uncovered her eyes, he followed and closed the door.

Lily looked up and around the shed. It was definitely bigger than the one she had at home, possible three times bigger than the run-of-the-mill seven-feet high, twelve-feet long, and 9-feet wide structure that housed the family lawn mower and pool supplies. It could easily be compared to a barn. There were several blueprints of various machinery covering the walls, as well as pieces of paper covered with notes. In the corner was a rusty old dispenser that obviously needed some repair and refurbishing. In the back right-hand corner of the "shed" was the Engineer's main work area, composed of a large, sturdy wooden table, several large tool boxes, and large blueprints held together with rubber bands and piled in the corner, among other things. In the middle of the desk was Lily's Zune, held in place by a bulky vice, the faceplate removed. The display made Lily cringe.

The Engineer saw this and laughed. "No worries, honey," he said. "I can give ya money to get another one when I manage to get ya back home."

Lily laughed and shook her head. "Naw, they're kinda pricey in the twenty-first century," she replied. "That thing cost me about a hundred and twenty US dollars, and trust me, a dollar gets you much less then compared to now."

"Like what?" The Engineer took his place at his work station, sitting down and motioning toward another chair so Lily could do the same.

Smiling, she took her place at the table, eyes gazing over one of the blueprints spread out before her. "Well, postage costs suck. You guys can buy maybe...thirty or so stamps with a dollar these days. In the 2000s, a dollar will barely get you _three_."

"...You're kidding."

"I ain't lying, Engie," Lily said, shaking her head with a frown. "And gas costs more than two dollars. A summer or two ago, it got up to four."

"What?!" The Engineer's fair-colored eyes widened. "Alright, girl, stop pullin' my leg. Gas will _never_ go that high."

Lily laughed. "Will, too." She stopped for a moment, wondering whether or not revealing too much about her time would affect this one. Then again, it _was _a video game universe...

"Alright, honey, tell me more about your world later." Removing the dissected MP3 player from the vice, the Engineer handed it back to Lily. "First, we need to talk 'bout this thing a' yours."

"Oh?"

"Mind explainin' a little 'bout it? Unfortunately, I wasn't able to listen to anythin' on it."

"Yeah, because you need a set of headphones plugged into it for any sound to come out." Reaching for the jack of her headphones, which still hung loose around her neck, Lily plugged it into the bottom of her Zune, before turning the device around. She sighed. Of course - the faceplate had been removed, as well as a billion other pieces to the interior. Lily tapped herself on the forehead with the heel of her palm. "Duh, you took this thing apart. It won't play now."

To this, the Engineer laughed nervously. "I thought as much. I think I know how to put it back together, but with something that small, I doubt it'll work again."

"...Why did you even take it apart, if you knew that I wouldn't be able to get it to work for you? Kinda makes the original reason for my trip down here invalid now, don't it?"

"Do you think after what happened yesterday I was in any condition to use logic?" He cocked his eyebrow at Lily, who had furrowed her own.

"Uhm, Engie, for someone with PhD's up the wazoo, I would've thought-"

"Hush up, Lil'. I did this at three this mornin'. I was tired, dammit." The Engineer leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "And please, call me Theo. We're not on the battlefield."

"...Theo?"

"Short for Theodore. My real name."

_...Holy shit, they _do _have names! _"Aw!" Lily's emerald eyes lit up. "Like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks!"

Once again, that three-heads stare. "...Yeah, just like him." _This girl is far too immature to be workin' for the other team... _

"..._Please _tell me that you know wh-"

"Yeah, I know what the Chipmunks are. They were created in the 50s."

"Oh, thank god!" Lily let out a sigh, followed by a short burst of laughter. "Please don't take offense to that. Y'know, me instantly going to a cartoon reference after hearing your name. I am twenty, but I have the attention span of a squirrel and the mentality of a ten-year-old most of the time. Blame my Peter Pan complex..." She scratched the back of her head, a nervous expression on her face.

After a minute, the Engineer chuckled, shaking his head. "No worries, honey," he said. "Your youth is somethin' you gotta hold onto for as long as you can. But while you're here, ya gotta put that side of ya away. We are at war, y'know."

"I know that. Alright, new question: where do _I _fit into this whole war thing? Am I gonna have to appeal to the Administrator or something, because that woman scares me."

"Well, seein' as how she hasn't had any of us, or her assistant, bring you to her, I guess she's...strangely...in support of you bein' here. Of course, it'll get a bit difficult just makin' you hide back at the barracks or wherever else."

"Don't tell me I'm gonna have to join you guys on the battlefield..." Lily's eyes went wide. She didn't know what was more accurate: the fact that she might actually get the chance to _fight _in her favorite video game, or the fact that she was close to soiling her underwear in anxiety and fear just thinking about fighting in her favorite video game.

"Please. I doubt you know how to use a gun or have any mercenary trainin', darlin'. We'll find someway to keep you sa-"

"Whoa, whoa, and _whoa_! I'm not some powderpuff; I know how to use a gun, Theo. My dad happens to hunt...and be big into self-defense..."

"What guns have you used before?"

"Nothing like that behemoth, Heavy, uses, that's for sure, but I have handled a shotgun and a pistol before."

"How fast are you with reloadin' ammo?"

"Clumsily slow."

Pressing his face into his palm, the Engineer sighed. "Yeah, don't think we're gonna be seein' much of ya on the battlefield, honey. You puttin' yourself out there would just be suicide."

"Yeah, maybe you're ri-"

"**ATTENTION RED TEAM, THE BLUS ARE MOVING IN ON YOUR SETTLEMENT POINTS ON THE FASTLANE. REPORT THERE IMMEDIATELY!**"

"Well, shit." Even in the face of danger, Lily never failed to be randomly deadpan.

"Aw, dammit," the Engineer hissed, standing up from his seat. Heading toward the door, he wrapped his large hand around Lily's wrist, which seemed as thin as a beer bottle's neck to him, and pulled her out. "C'mon, Lil'. We gotta get you back in the barracks." The two then rushed out into the Badland climate once again, Lily thankful that she was being pulled in the right direction this time.

As the two entered the building, Lily looked up just in time to see the Medic and Heavy run past them, almost knocking her over in the process. She was about to yell out a complaint, but after receiving a quick call of "Sorry, fräulein!" from the Medic, Lily let it go.

Looking down at the young girl, the Engineer hesitated taking her straight back to the barracks, and instead led her to a closet to one side of the 'foyer.' Pulling out a set of keys, he fumbled for the right one before opening it and walking in. Looking around for a few moments, he finally found what he wanted and pulled them out. It was a Scattergun and a pouch full of rounds, which found themselves in Lily's grasp. To her surprise, the double-barreled weapon conformed to her long arms, and wasn't all that heavy. Looking up, she saw the Engineer motion for her to follow him. They quickly headed down a long hallway of empty rooms, clear of any other inhabitants, before the Engineer began to speak.

"Alright, listen up," he said sternly, though Lily could see the man was beginning to panic, "I think by now you know what this thing is, right?"

"Yeah, a Scattergun. Fires ten bullets a shot, right?"

"Got it. Now listen: if any BLUs come around these parts, you get into one of the rooms and hide. The Administrator will alert us if that happens, but until then, we won't know when to send someone to come and get you. Worst comes to worst, you use that; it's already loaded for you." He pointed to the Scattergun. "...Actually, if you here someone coming, either way just open fire on 'em if they find ya. This weapon is designed for the RED team, so we won't get hurt. The only reason I'm sayin' this is that you never know when a Spy could come around here."

"...A S-Spy...?!" Lily's face turned pale.

"Yeah. Stay away from the doors, and if ya see someone, get away from the windows. If I get word of intrusion from the Administrator, I'll come runnin' to get ya. 'Kay? If I can't, I'll send someone else."

Lily only nodded. Talk of a Spy finding her and taking advantage of her gullibility absolutely terrified her, and made most of whatever else the Engineer told her go in one ear and come out the other. At least it was a breath of fresh air to hear that, true to the game, friendly fire didn't do anything to anyone on the RED team. Or rather, _her _team.

"Engie, get ya ass in geyah! Leave the chick; we gotta get outside!"

The two turned around to see the Scout, hat tucked under his arm, headset hanging around his neck, pulling on the last of his shoes while trying to get past them and head out to the battlefield. Obviously, he still had a hard time taking any kind of orders seriously when it got in the way of sleeping in, even from the Administrator herself. Managing to get the shoe on, the Scout now could utilize both of his feet better and stepped on the gas. Then unfortunately, with one careless side step, he came tumbling down to the ground, landing on his face. This sort of thing would normally make Lily burst out in laughter, except that now, she was too scared to even think.

"Son-of-a-_bitch_!" Hopping back up, his cheeks flaring red with embarrassment, the Scout growled and ran out of the building, ready to exercise his taunting abilities to the point of exhaustion.

"He's right." Sighing, the Engineer turned back to the girl. "Remember what I told ya. I'm pretty sure you have nothin' to worry about, but still. I'll try and get up enough Sentries so no one can get to ya."

Lily only nodded once again. Knowing that he had emotionally corrupted the young girl enough, the Engineer sighed and headed off toward the exit. "Don't do anythin' stupid, Lil'!"

If the young track rat was fully mentally conscious, she would have mustered up some sort of comeback or physical act of immaturity. But, no. There wasn't any room for jokes now. If any of the BLUs came by the area, Lily was as good as dead. After gaining control of her legs again, she ran into the first room she came to, relieved to find that the door was unlocked. And for good reason: it was completely empty, a solemn wooden bed frame in the corner appearing as if it had been collecting dust for years. The view from the room's window seemed quite useful, as she could see the others running toward a rather large structure out in the distance, with the Engineer trailing behind. A small smile curled over her lips as she spotted the Sniper's camper van stop near the Engineer, allowing him to get in and get to the Fastlane quicker.

"That's cute," Lily said, placing the Scattergun down at her feet. She leaned back against the painted concrete wall, and soon joined her weapon as her rear met the cold floor. Her flat hair hung in front of her face, which she pushed back lazily. "Who the hell plays TF2 at nine-thirty on a Sunday...?"

Looking down, she picked up her weapon again and placed it in her lap, the cool metal smooth against her fingertips. An actual Scattergun... Grinning a bit, Lily gripped the handle with her right hand, index finger resting against the trigger, while her left hand supported the barrels. "Huh...wonder how pressure-sensitive the tri-"

**_BANG! _**Lily cringed, feeling the blast of the Scattergun as it went off with barely a caress on the trigger. Her green eyes opened and widened in panic as she looked across the room at the door, now decorated in bullet holes. "...What the fucking fuck? It's _that _sensitive?!" Pulling her finger away, she set the weapon back down on the ground carefully, as if it were full of combustible chemicals. Groaning, she tilted her head back, letting it rest against the wall.

"I'm so royally boned..."

**Uh-ohs! Lily's all alone! Sorry about the long chapter of not that much stuff; I'm still trying to think of a reasonable way to get Lily out onto the battlefield. She's not gonna be hiding for too much longer, I promise you that. Please send all feedback and reviews posthaste!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So hooray! I am FINALLY out of school. Well, I was out a month ago, and I don't go back until the end of August. Now I have plenty more time to work on my fanfictions, especially this little gem. I ish so proud of it. Enjoy, guys. We'll finally get to see Jody in action. Well...hopefully I can execute this well.**

**4**

"...Ugh, what I wouldn't give for a Gameboy right now. Or even some jacks."

Lily, back pressed to the concrete walls of her 'prison of boredom,' let out a long sigh, playing with a lock of black hair. Ten minutes had already passed, and possible activities to keep herself occupied were limited to staring at the Scattergun, now a good two feet away for her own safety, gawking at the now torn-up wooden door to the room, or playing with the hem of her tank top and wondering if she would get to shower. Wait - if she would get to shower? She had to be able to keep herself safe from the BLUs first. Maybe if she didn't die...

Well, that was certainly a train of thought she wasn't ready to board...

"Man, I wonder what Bianca is doing." Lily inhaled slowly, letting the breath out through a pair of pursed lips. "Probably freaking out 'cuz I never showed up for chicken wing night." Green eyes darting down, she was again reminded of her predicament by hearing a growl in her stomach. "Oh shut up, you. You're the last voice I need to hear right now."

As two more minutes ticked away, the twenty-year-old became more and more impatient. Her stomach had left her alone, but the thoughts of what was going on outside were enough to be considered torture. The only thing she could hear was the faint sound of what had to be a Level 3 sentry gun in the distance. Would venturing out of the barracks to go and catch a better look really hurt...?

No. Lily had made a promise to Theodore, and she was going to keep it. Even as she got up off her bottom and picked up the Scattergun. Even as she headed toward the door and grasped the handle. And even as she opened the door and headed out into the hallway, hearing the door close behind her.

"...Dammit, Lily..."

Letting out a groan, and pressing her face into her palm, Lily fell back against the door, and sank to the dusty linoleum floor. Curse her toddler-like curiosity and her inability to make a commitment. Sure, she could go back into the room, but there were two very big problems with that action. One, the guilt would still be there. Two, now that the guilt was there anyway, she might as well live out the moment. Though not without adequate protection. Placing the Scattergun in her lap, she reached into her pocket and pulled out one of the pellets. She shoved it inside the gun, and gave the barrel a brief pat or two, as if it were an animal. Six shots. That would be enough, if she needed them. And if she could aim the gun correctly.

Feeling her shoulder twitch from a light tickling feeling, she rolled her eyes and pushed her hair back, before resting her hand in her lap. "I should probably get back in the room...no matter how badly I want to see those BLUs go boom," she muttered, looking down and pressing up on her heels to stand back up. Yet something stopped her in her tracks. Something that should be the least of her worries at a time like this.

"**SPIDER!**" Practically screaming bloody murder, Lily bolted onto her feet, shaking her hand so the harmless arachnid would detach itself. Still, to no avail. Cringing, she turned her hand over and pressed it hard against the wall, delivering a one-hit kill. Lily panted in relief, before glaring down at the mess on the back of her hand. "Ew...nasty little bastard."

As she wiped her hand on her jeans, Lily could soon hear the sounds of footsteps coming down the hallway perpendicular to the one she was in. Looking up, gun clutched in her hands - and rather clumsily at that - she let out a sigh as the RED Pyro appeared, who stopped in the hallway the second he saw her. "Oh, dude, thank god it's you," she said, starting to chuckle. The Engineer, no doubt, was probably busy building and repairing his equipment for the team. He had probably sent the Pyro to keep watch over her, or even bring her somewhere safer.

However, something seemed rather...odd, and it silenced her quickly. One, the Administrator hadn't warned the others of a BLU in the base. Then again, that was no surprise; she loved surprise drama. Two, someone on the RED Team, Engineer or not, would only come to her if that were the case. And three, all the Pyro did was stare at her, as if he had completely forgotten meeting her the previous day. Lily cocked her brow in confusion. "Pyro...it's me. It's Lily. You okay?"

"Who ze hell are you?"

Lily's eyes went wide, and a gasp tried to force itself from her throat. A Pyro with a perfectly audible voice, and one with a French accent? "Oh my god, a S-Spy..." she croaked out. Her grip on the Scattergun began to loosen, even though her brain screamed to her hands to keep steady. She could have fainted when she heard the fake Pyro chuckle and morph right before her eyes into the more recognizable form of the BLU Spy, clad in blue pinstripe suit and matching mask. With a grin, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarette case, helping himself to one of the sticks of toxic material held within. He obviously wasn't too worried about this.

"Heh, so I take it ze Scout is trying damn hard to lose his virginity, no?" he asked, the sides of his mouth twisted into a grin that made Lily want to throw up.

"One, t-that's disgusting," she stammered. "I h-hate him. And t-two, you better run. I have a g-gun, and I will use it..."

Pulling out his trusted Zippo lighter, the Spy lit his cigarette and laughed between closed lips, before inhaling. "I can see zhat, _ma cher_," he said, exhaling. "And I am sure you know how to pull ze trigger on it. But I also know you won't do that." He took one step forward.

Seeing this, Lily countered by taking two back. "And why do you think that?" Seeing him draw closer, she stepped back a few more times. She could almost feel the cold radiating off the concrete walls getting closer to her.

"One, I can almost hear your heart beating in your chest, and I know you would miss. Two, I don't plan to harm one hair on your adorable head, as long as you cooperate." One more step forward.

Two more steps back. "What do you want...?" Daring to take another step, Lily let out a squeak of fear as her back hit the icy wall. How incredibly cliche.

The Spy's grin grew even more as he moved forward, resting one gloved hand against the wall, mere centimeters from the right side of Lily's head. The other hand reached into his pocket, and his captive could hear the sound of his knife's blade unsheathing itself. "First," the Spy purred, running the blade ever so tenderly down Lily's right arm, attached to the hand that still held the Scattergun, "why don't we put the gun _down_?" As he said his last word in a slick yet threatening tone, the tip of the knife pressed firmly into the back of Lily's hand, piercing the skin. With a yelp of pain, she let go of the gun, hearing the metal 'clank' as it hit the linoleum. It wasn't long before she could feel blood drip down her fingers.

"That's better," the Spy said, chuckling. "Now, why don't you tell me where ze Intel is?"

"I...don't know where it is." Lily's green eyes glowed angrily at him. "I barely know my way around the RED base. I don't know where any of it is." She knew that there were more than one Intel for her team, and she didn't know where any of them were hidden yet.

The smirk on the Spy's lips quickly faded, and his eyes narrowed at her. "I'm not playing games, little girl," he almost growled. "You either tell me where I can find ze Intel, or your hand won't be ze only thing zhat's cut up."

Lily felt herself shrink a few inches in size. The most she knew about the Intel were the possible parts of the game maps where 'Capture the Flag' games usually took place, but the actual suitcases could be anywhere. And because of her lack of knowledge, she was in danger. Because of her curiosity to see the battle outside, and her overreaction to the spider which gave away her location to maybe a less-than-flawlessly-trained Spy, she was most likely going to die. She had to think of something, anything, to either distract the Spy so someone could come save her, or throw him off-guard and get her gun.

"Girl, speak up!" The Spy spat out harshly, leaning in closer before blowing a puff of nicotine-filled smoke into her face, making her choke. "Where is ze Intel?"

"I don't know!" Lily felt as if her body were about to explode in fear. Her brain, however, triggered something in her leg and forced it to do something rather surprising: cut right through the air, position itself quickly between the two of them, and send the foot on the end flying powerfully into the Spy's groin. She closed her eyes as she felt the impact, afraid that for some reason, it would have no effect. Several seconds later, she was reassured of her victory by the sound of a whimper rising in the Spy's throat, followed by a choked cough. Peering through one now-open eye, she saw her captor's legs begin to wobble as he struggled to keep himself on his two feet. He was failing miserably.

"_Mon...dieu_" was the only thing he could get out, before his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he dropped to his knees. Feeling a rush of relief sweep over her, Lily then spotted the Scattergun at her feet and rushed to grab it. Forcing it up, she pointed the barrels at the Spy's temple, panting from the adrenaline coursing through her veins, but smirking even still. "I wouldn't move if I were you," she said, her voice cracking a few times. While she did have the upper hand, she knew Spies were tricky, and he could still take advantage of her inexperience in combat at any moment. "You're on the ground, and I h-have a gun pointing at your skull. I could easily blow your brains out right now."

Trying to catch his breath, the Spy, sat up slightly, wasting some of his energy on laughing and shaking his head. "You...you have guts, girl. I'll give you zhat..." Behind his back, his hand clutched the trusty knife he had used to oust many victims before this one. Attractive female or not, she was getting on his last nerve. "Unfortunately, you're not like ze others on zhis battlefield. I can tell you don't have experience with a gun. How good for me..." Evil grin equipped once again, the Spy swung his hand out, to swipe at Lily's calf and hopefully bring her down hard.

"Lily!" _**BANG! **_

The young girl cringed as the sound of a gunshot rang through the halls, leaving behind a haunting echo. Opening her eyes quickly, she spotted the Spy's hand, dripping with blood, the knife on the floor. Backing away a few feet, she turned and let out a sigh of relief when she saw the one person she never thought she'd be so happy to see: Theodore. Panting in exhaustion, he ran over to her, placing his glove-covered hand on her shoulder. "You alright?"

"I am now," she said, giving a small smile. "Dude, you saved my ass."

Theodore sighed. "Yeah, I guess." He then looked down at the Spy, smirking a bit before pressing the end of his shotgun against the back of his head. "You might wanna stand back, honey. Don't wanna get blood on your clothes."

Without a second to spare, Lily took off, heading toward the end of the hallway from whence Theodore had come. "Call me when it's over!" she squeaked out, before turning the corner and pressing her back to the wall. The last thing she wanted to see was a death. This wasn't the same game where getting a headshot would make her smile. This was her life for the time being. Hell, the proof was now embedded in her hand, blood still pouring from it. Lily listened for that last gunshot, which made her whole body jolt, before turning her head around the corner. "Is he dead?"

Brushing himself off, and wiping his blood-covered arms on his overalls, the Texan looked up and nodded, trying to offer a comforting smile. "Yeah, I got 'im," he replied, heading over to the girl. This left Lily feeling rather unsettled, how he treated taking out a man as if it were just squishing a bug.

"Alright, you got a _lot _of explaining to do, Theo." She snapped out of her discomfort and crossed her arms, cocking one eyebrow, and looking as if she were a parent about to discipline her child. "How the hell could that Spy get into the barracks? I thought you put a sentry up."

Once again, the Engineer sighed. "I did, Lil'. Then again, if you know about this war so much, and who we are and how we work, you can explain how he managed to get by." Reaching into the pouch attached to his belt, he held up the Spy's Electro Sapper, looking slightly charred from a job well done.

"...Ah, he sapped it." Letting out a sigh of her own, Lily shoved one hand into her jean pocket, while the other held the Scattergun.

"Yeah. I saw that it was taken down, and I came runnin' to check up on ya. Now it's my turn to yell at you." Theodore crossed his own arms now. "What the hell were you doin' comin' out into the hall? I told you to stay hidden; this war is damn serious."

With a groan, Lily's head lightly rested against the wall behind her. "I know, Theo, I know. I just...got curious is all. The only reason he found me is 'cuz of the spider that crawled onto my hand. I hate those things..."

"...So you gave your cover over a _spider_?" He raised a brow, which was somewhat hidden beneath the rim of his hardhat, as if expecting an actual answer. However, when none came, he just pushed his hand through the air. "Eh, you're a girl and it's the desert. Don't sulk on it. But, uhm...could you tell me at least what happened?"

"I walked into the hallway to get to a window where I could possibly watch what was going on, but a spider hopped onto me. I screamed bloody murder, then what I thought was our Pyro found me. The idiot blew his cover when he got confused as to why a girl was in the barracks, not to mention I heard his accent and knew what was up. The bastard cut my hand when I told him I didn't know where the Intel was-" Lily held up her bloody appendage with an emotionless gaze. "-and I kicked him where the sun don't shine. Thought I had the bastard when he was on the ground and I had the gun to his skull."

Though goggles covered them, the Engineer's eyes held a look of absolute surprise. He chuckled. "Did you really do that?"

"Uhm...yeah. Heh, I guess I did."

"Lil', I'm impressed. Spies are some of the most intimidatin' guys in this business. He coulda' taken ya out easily."

"...The dude blew his cover to me. I think I just caught a lucky break."

"Maybe, or maybe you're a pretty tough lil' lady." Letting out a short laugh, Theodore picked up his hand and gave Lily what he thought was a light pat on the back. For her, however, it felt like someone was trying to force a piece of invisible, trapped food from her throat.

After straightening her back from the 'blow,' Lily tugged lightly on the hem of her tank top, before looking down once again at the Scattergun. "So what does this mean then? You gonna babysit me until the rest of the team returns from Fastlane?"

"Unfortunately, no..." Tipping the front edge of his hardhat up, the Engineer brought up his bare hand to scratch his temple. "The guys need me out there, and I don't have the time to look after you and patrol the barracks for anymore Spies, as much as I'd like to. It's gonna be risky, but I'm gonna have to bring you out to Fastlane with me."

"Crazy say what?" Lily's eyes widened in a look of absolute terror.

"You heard me," Theodore said, rather impatiently. Oh, _now _he was in a rush. "An' now, crazy says 'c'mon, we gotta go.'" He reached out once again for Lily's bony wrist, and began to pull her along in a hustled run. Within moments, they had exited the barracks and had returned out onto the scorched Badland terrain. The sun had grown much more intense, and Lily brought her hand up, covering her eyes with the gun. It was the best she could do, seeing as how she had absolutely no control over her left arm.

* * *

"So, what exactly do you have planned? I'm gonna go out there and stand by a dispenser and hope I don't get blown up or set on fire?"

"Well, act- ...yeah, that's it." Theodore moved around the supply room, searching for a few things. Lily had already been in possession of the Scattergun, and a holster containing a fully-loaded pistol was attached to her belt the best it could be. The Engineer knew that someone new to the battlefield would need a Plan B once one weapon ran out of ammo. However, in Lily's case, she probably couldn't carry that much weight in firearms. She was far too small for a Minigun (not to mention, the Heavy would _never _let anyone touch his guns), and Theodore didn't necessarily trust her accuracy with a sniper rifle. Lily had eyed the Spy's Ambassador, which he had left behind in exchange for the standard Revolver, but Theodore had strictly told her to leave it be.

"Alright, pop quiz." He grabbed something from one of the shelves of the surprise room and headed over to the young woman. "First off, what kind of shoes are you wearin'?"

"Converses, professor."

"...Which are?"

Lily rolled her eyes. Converses existed in the 60s. Where the hell had he been? "Basketball shoes."

"Oh...nice. Now, you've handled a gun before, correct?"

"For the second time, yes."

"Alright, alright." Theodore put his hands up defensively. "Just checkin' again for good measure. So now, how fast can you run?"

This, Lily couldn't help but grin at. "Oh, how fast can I run?" she repeated in a cocky air. "Let's just say that I run track back at my school...and my fastest time running a mile was five minutes and forty-three seconds."

"...Damn. After this job is over, remind me to make you an' Scout race each other." Bringing the item he had clutched in his hand into view, he placed it on the girl's head. It was an extra cap that was tossed to the side, which looked like a mixture of a newsboy cap, and a baseball cap. "To protect your eyes from the sun, honey."

"Thanks, dude. And I'll pretend you never said that." Lily's eyes narrowed, but a few seconds later, she began to grin. "Speaking of our dear friend, the Scout, what's _his _real name? Since y'know, I'm gonna learn everyone's name sooner or later."

"Well, everyone except for Pyro's," Theodore countered. "And...it's Benjamin."

Lily stood in absolute silence the second the word 'Benjamin' passed into her ear and rested in her brain. However, that silence was short-lived by the sound of her hysterical laughter. "Benjamin?" she cried, as if the answer to her question were far too funny to be true. "He's a _Benjamin_?"

"...Are ya kiddin' me, Engie?"

Turning their heads, the next things the two saw, as coincidental as events could become, were the open metal door to the supply room, and the Scout's scowling face. "You did _not _jus' tell 'er my name."

"Uh, yeah he did...Benjie." Lily snickered a bit, not caring how angry the Scout was now or would be later.

"Oh, shuddap." Eyes almost on fire, the Scout then turned to Theodore, who couldn't possibly look any less intimidated. "Why didja tell 'er my name? Now I'm gonna have t' deal with her makin' fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you, little league. Cool your jets."

The Scout turned back to her, pointing an accusatory finger. "You were just laughin' at me!"

"Because I didn't expect you to be named 'Benjamin.' Yeah, it is kinda...cutesy. I expected you to be a Brian, or a James...or even a Joshua. Not a Ben-"

"I get it!" Growling, the Scout headed over to the supply locker, and grabbed several pellets, jamming them into his Scattergun. "Now c'mon, Engie. A BLU Pyro took out a Sentry neyah' our point right outside the buildin'. Ya gotta get t' work on it."

"Since when did you become my mother?" Grumbling something under his breath, Theodore walked over to the same locker and pulled out more ammo for his shotgun, then grabbed his toolbox which rested on the ground. He then turned and looked at Lily. "You ready?"

"Whoa, whoa! She's gonna be out theyah' with us?" Benjamin, by now, was ready to blow a gasket.

"Well...yeah. But I'm gonna have her put by a dispenser so she don't get herself killed."

"She's nevuh been on the battle field, Engie. She'll get 'erself hurt! Not that I give a damn, but c'mon!"

"Listen, Benjamin." The Scout growled, but Theodore continued. "Someone could easily come into this buildin' while we're out there an' easily overpower 'er. An' she already knows how to use a gun. She got a Spy trapped back at the barracks."

"...Bullshit." Benjamin's eyes, already narrowed, darted over to stare at Lily.

"It's true, little league," Lily said, glaring back at him. "I left the room, got a Spy to unmask himself, kicked him in the nuts, and had a gun held to his head before Theo came and found me."

"Pfft, whatevs'." Rolling his eyes, the Scout gave his Scattergun a quick look-over, before running to the door and back outside. "Now get out heyah' soon, Engie!"

As the door opened and lowered once again behind him, the Engineer simply sighed and shook his head. "Stuck-up kid..." Motioning with one hand, he then made a hustle for the exit, in a rush to repair that Sentry Benjamin had mentioned. "Let's go, Lil'."

Nodding, Lily did as she was told, following Theodore out of the supply room in a soft hustle of her own. To her left was a control point, the lit center glowing a bright red, which the girl couldn't help but gawk at. "That's...just awesome, dude."

"Uh, thanks, we try." Chuckling a bit, the Engineer led her down a short corridor connected to the right of the large room containing the point platform, and then to the left out of that hallway. In front of them were two garage-like doors, and the faint sound of gunshots could be heard in the distance. As the two approached the door to the right, it opened automatically, and both stepped out into the 'fresh' Badland air. There were plenty of shady places around the RED Team's building, which would probably make Lily want to whine a little less. Not to mention that the hat on her head would give her face enough shade. The one thing she hated the most about hot water was her sweat seeping into her bangs so they hung wet in her face.

The area surrounding them was just as Lily had remembered the Fastland map being when the world of Team Fortress 2 were still just a game to her. Before her was another control point, positioned on an area of higher, dusty ground. As she and Theodore headed up the hill to pass it, she looked behind her and took in the building she had just exited. To her right was a set of stairs leading up to a roofed platform. From the platform, a thin wooden catwalk was placed leading into an entrance to the top floor of the building. Around her, the building was attached to several small additions, which she remembered as perfect hiding places for her when she played as a Sniper, or as Pyro, when she would wait until several members of the opposite team would cross her path. From there, all of them were generously torched.

Across the hill, on a ledge close a doorway to the far right, the two could see the broken Level 2 Sentry in question, which was positioned right by an untouched Level 1 Dispenser. Those BLU Spies were definitely tricky bastards. Whipping out his demolition remote, the Engineer pressed a button with his thumb, and the pieces of his Sentry were blown to kingdom come. "Now that that's out of the way..." He then opened his toolbox, setting a new kit for a Sentry where the old one once stood. As the kit was placed down, he turned to Lily, motioning with his head to stand by the Dispenser. "Just park yourself by the Dispenser until I have this thing up, 'kay?"

"Can do, dude. Can do..." Lily tried her hardest to back into the corner the Dispenser was near, and it had come to her attention that her legs had begun to shake. With each step she had taken out of the RED Team's Fastlane building, the more her confidence began to drain. It was official to her: getting the Spy down was just a fluke, a stroke of incredible luck. She noticed something else as well: as she stepped close enough to the dispenser, a cool, effervescent air surrounded her, making her skin tingle. "Hey, Theo?"

"It's the medicine the Dispenser provides. You'll get used to it."

Suddenly, the sound of boots on wood could be heard, and the girl's eyes went wide in horror. She prayed to whatever god, or gods, in existence that whoever was about to cross her path would not have a BLU uniform. Bringing her gun up toward the doorway, she tried to keep her trembling hands steady, and the barrel pointed at a reasonable height, so she could at least get a hit in a torso if not a headshot. God, what were the odds of that? "...T-Theo...?" Lily began to whimper.

Looking for himself, the Engineer turned his head the moment none other than the Sniper came around the corner. Theodore sighed, but Lily was about to faint. She couldn't help but be angry at her situation. _Perfect, Lily! 'Meet-your-maker' turned into 'make-yourself-embarrassed-in-front-of-crush.' Just step away from the Dispenser and put the gun to your head; you're boned._

"'Ey, truckie," the Sniper said, tilting his hat before standing by the Dispenser. His vest was decorated with a light spray of blood, and the knees of his pants were covered in dirt. Looking down, he spotted Lily, and his brow perked up. "Why is she out here?"

"Spy got into the barracks and found her. I had t' take her someplace safer, partner."

"Wot happened?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I walked out of the room, screamed bloody murder when a spider crawled on me, a Spy found- oh, what does it matter?" She ended the statement with a snap, her body still shaking from the initial fear of a possible death being around the corner. When she saw the Sniper ease back an inch, she let out a sigh. "Sorry..."

"Quite alright, Lil'," the Sniper said, flashing a brief half smile and giving the girl a pat on the shoulder. He then turned his attention to Theodore. "We've only got one more point to captcha', but those bugguhs' won't budge from it."

"You sure their outside point is secure?"

"Yeah, the doc' and Dimitri had it covered."

"Dimitri?" Lily interrupted, a bit confused.

"The Heavy," the two men replied.

"Well, three down, six to go."

"**_ATTENTION! THE CONTROL POINT IS BEING CONTESTED!_**"

The three turned their heads in the way of a nearby loudspeaker, and soon all sported looks that could be best described as 'more than a little shaken up and nervous.' "Wot do we do with the girl? You can't just leave 'er here while we go and fight."

"...Point. Is the other Dispenser still up?"

"Yep. We gonna move 'er?"

"We've got no choice. We don't move fast, and that point'll-"

"_**THE CONTROL POINT HAS BEEN CAPTURED.**_"

"...Son-of-a-bitch." Turning to the other two, the Engineer motioned for them to draw their attention back to him. "C'mon, we've wasted enough time. Can you cover her and get her to the Dispenser? I gotta go get more metal for this Sentry from the supply room."

"Huh?" Lily felt her body grown warm, regardless of the Dispenser's antibiotics.

"No worries, I'll get 'er there safe." Looking from Theodore to Lily, the Sniper gave her a small nudge away from the Dispenser, and began to walk rather quickly, heading through the doorway from whence he came. Lily only looked back at Theodore once, before taking off with her new escort, the sound of gunshots getting slightly louder.

After passing through another small addition to the buildings around them, the two made their way onto another clear area, surprisingly clear of any BLUs or fellow REDs. This time, however, one control point, also glowing red, was positioned in the middle, a roofed structure holding it. On either side were metal platforms elevated above the ground and paths below, where several blue bottles with red crosses printed across the front, as well as a few ammunition boxes, were thrown haphazardly. So much for the thought of seeing objects floating in midair. However, on one metal platform, sure as the Engineer had said, was a Dispenser. Level 3, too. Lily felt a small wave of relief wash over her. Maybe she would be safe, just as long as she wasn't left alone. Yet she couldn't help but feel terrible for making the Sniper look after her.

"Alright, sheila," he began, clearing his throat as they stopped at the machine. "I didn't think I was gonna have to watch over ya, but I don't mind all that much. Ya scared?"

"N-no, I'm fine," Lily lied. She lightly chomped on her lower lip, and her cheeks began to glow a bright pink. "This is nothing."

Chuckling, the Sniper looked down at her, before reaching up with his free hand and pulling his orange-tinted sunglasses down. Lily froze the second her green eyes made contact with his steel blue ones. "No one's gonna hurt ya, hear me? Ya got me, we're near one a' truckie's machines, and we both have guns. We'll be fine."

"Sniper, you have no friggin' clue how hard that is for me to believe."

"Just stay near the Dispensuh', and nothin'll happen. Promise."

"...Uhm, thanks, Sniper." Yeah, like she was gonna feel any more confident. Him being pretty didn't do anything in regards to lowering her blood pressure or odds of passing out.

Hearing the sound of a Minigun getting closer, the two turned toward the building that separated them from the BLU Team's general area. While Lily let out a small, panicked yelp, the Sniper grinned and adjusted the rifle in his grasp, choosing to nix the scope. "Well, let's see who's a-comin' this way..." he said lowly, aiming the rifle.

Peering out from behind the Sniper, Lily felt her heart rushing once again, only to be calmed, to her annoyance, by the sight of the Pyro, who had come to hide around the corner in case any BLUs came around as well. Looking over, he spotted Lily and the Sniper, and was utterly confused. Waving at his fellow mercenary to get his attention, he then pointed to Lily.

"Engie couldn't watch after 'er any longuh," the Sniper said, giving a brief shrug. Seeing the Pyro only give a shrug of his own, then turn back to his task of hiding, he then peered back at Lily. "Holdin' out alright, sheila?"

"Uh...huh?"

"Well, watch this; it's gonna get good." Raising his gun again, the Sniper brought the scope to use and kept his eye on the path down below one side of the metal platforms. Lily looked, too, and gasped softly when she spotted a BLU Heavy, being pumped full of antibiotics from the Medic behind him. Straining her eyes, the young girl could also see that luckily, the Medic's Kritzkrieg wasn't glowing. As the seconds ticked down, the two RED Team members remained out of sight while the BLUs progressed more and more. When they finally turned the corner and headed up the hill, the Pyro charged, flamethrower ablaze. Cutting around the pair, he set the two up in flames, but concentrated on bringing down the Medic. That's when the Heavy turned toward the fighter in the fire-retardant suit, and began to fire his Minigun. Lily watched the whole thing in absolute horror, keeping her fingers crossed that the Pyro would make it back alive. Seeing the Medic drop to the ground, obviously having been killed, she then peered up at the Sniper, who ever so carefully moved his gun, aiming at the Heavy. "Covuh' ya ears, Lil'." And with that, the gun was set off, the bullet rocketing through the air and hitting the Heavy just behind the right ear, bringing him down.

"Gotcha, wankuh'," the Sniper said with a smirk, before turning to Lily.

"That...was fantastic!" Lily cried, laughing a bit. Her heart was still pounding, she felt faint, and she was pretty damn sure that she was on the verge of wetting herself, but never before had she felt such an adrenaline rush. "Eat that, fatty!" she called before blowing a raspberry. Still laughing, she was completely unaware of the look of confusion on the Sniper's face, wondering whether or not she had just gone completely mad.

"**_CONGRATULATIONS, RED TEAM. ONE POINT LEFT TO CAPTURE!_**"

"Thank goodness," the Sniper breathed, pushing the rim of his hat up to wipe the sweat from his forehead. "I think we can jus' take it easy now, little sheila. I think we have this mission in the bag."

"Oh, halle-frickin'-lujah." Lily let out a sigh and rested against one of the wooden beams behind her, sinking to the ground. "Sweet headshot by the way, Sniper."

"Thanks," he said with a laugh, though he kept his eyes out in the distance, rather than on her. "Now, I know ya got a little cranky earlier when I asked ya, but really, how did ya get a Spy down?"

This time, Lily smiled. "Well, I ended up in the hallway to hopefully see what was going on from the barracks, and a spider crawled onto me. When I screamed, what I thought was our Pyro came around the corner. He was a Spy who blew his cover when he didn't know who the hell I was, he cornered me, cut me up a bit, and then I kicked him in the happy sack and could've shot him in the head, if I had the courage."

"Where'd he bleed ya?"

"Just my hand." Lily held it up, giving him proof. By now, the blood from the cut had begun to coagulate and harden, forming a scab. However, her fingers were stained a slight red from the blood. "I'm okay. Just need a Band-Aid or something when we get back to the base."

"Well, one, the Medic'll look at it. No worries. And two, I'm impressed. Maybe he did blow his covuh', but he could've easily killed ya. They're some of the best in the business."

"Dude, trust me, I know," Lily said, laughing. "But, if I take down a BLU Heavy, then you can be impressed. I just caught a lucky break."

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, the Sniper took one minute to turn and look at her. "Whatevuh' ya say, sheila. But I still think some commendin' is in orduh'."

"Well...thanks. Really... Now, get back to watchin' that corner. I don't think my Scattergun can reach that far and still be accurate if someone comes around."

"Gotcha." With a half smile, the Sniper turned back around, surveying the area for any movement. After a few seconds, he could have sworn he heard footsteps, the delicate click of heeled boots, but no person had come by to claim possession of the sounds. Maybe the heat was getting to him, or perhaps the fact that he hadn't had his second cup of coffee in the morning.

Meanwhile, Lily had been sitting with her head down, one leg bouncing lightly up and down on the ground to keep it from falling asleep. Her hat was tipped down slightly, shading her face more from the desert heat. The melody to a song or two by Queen were stuck in her head. One foot was propped up on the side of the Dispenser, giving her direct contact to the medicine pouring from it. As it coursed through her, it almost felt like she were dropped in a glass of seltzer water.

Deciding to close her eyes and relax, Lily soon became aware of the fact that the amount of medicine was drastically changing. Decreasing. Opening one eye, she stared at the device in confusion, looking it over. "What the hell is go-... oh, shit." Right there, resting just a few inches from her bottom, was another Sapper. "U-uh, Sniper?" Lily scrambled to her feet, moving quickly away from the Dispenser, before she spotted it covered in a spiderweb-like veil of blue electricity. "There'a another Spy walking around here..."

"Another a' those wankuhs'?" Growling, the Sniper made a 180-degree turn and looked around. "Now, where is he- AHH!"

Lily's green eyes darted to the Sniper's forearm, and gasped at the sigh of flowing blood. It wasn't from a knife, but a bullet, which was lodged in the Sniper's arm, right below the joint of his elbow. "Piss..." he hissed out, trying to hold onto his rifle even still, though the pain wasn't starting to numb anytime soon. The young woman at his side soon stood in front of him, but decided against the gun and instead pulled the Sniper's machete out of its sheath in his belt. The Spy was more of a fighter to attack from close proximity rather than from a distance.

"I g-got your back, dude," she said, hands trembling and eyes locked on the area in front of her. What was it today, Revenge of the Spies? Biting on her bottom lip, hand dangerously loose on the wooden handle of the Kukri, all she could do was wait.

"Lil', I'm fine," the Sniper finally protested after he stopped trying to figure out where this sudden burst of courage was coming from. "Get behind me an' put your back to mine. He won't be able t-" Seeing Lily put two and two together faster than anticipated, dashing behind him and resting her back to his. "...Right then."

Lily whimpered softly, looking left and right. She could hear her own heartbeat, pounding fiercely against her eardrums. Her breathing became louder, and each exhale felt as if a simple loss of carbon dioxide was more like a loss of her energy. "H-hey, Sniper? If he can't stab us, what makes you s-so sure that we won't be picked off at all? I m-mean, the d-d-dude has a...gun." One more breath, and she began to cough. The smell of cigarette smoke burned in her nostrils.

_Cigarette smoke?_ Lily's heartbeat grew faster. _He's right in front of me, isn't he...?_

"That'd be right," the bushman said with a nod, feeling a drop of sweat trickle down his neck. That was all he said, all he was able to say. By taking the back-stab option off the list of 'ways to oust victims,' they took away his fun, and therefore would irritate him. After that, it was really a question as to what would be more fun: staying invisible and wiping them out, or popping out of thin air, making the girl scream, and therefore ruining the Sniper's unusual calmness. Decisions, decisions. Maybe for now, he could just enjoy breathing down on Lily, and maybe get her to faint.

"...S-Sniper...?" Lily felt the world form a whirlwind around her. This was torture. The next thing that she heard was a crash, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the rifle had been dropped to the ground, and the Sniper was seething in pain.

"Lil'... I'm sorry about this..." Slowly, he slid his hand into his vest, reaching for something: a Jarate. Grinning, he spun around, and gave Lily a hard push, causing her to tumble to the ground. "Bombs away!" Stepping back, he threw the jar of urine to the ground hard, the fluid inside and shards of glass going everywhere. The Spy in question, now completely furious and soaked, was now unveiled, and growled at the bushman. Dropping the Ambassador in his grasp, he settled for his knife, pulling it from his coat.

"Why you disgusting-"

"Lily!" The Sniper backed away, losing the chance to pick his rifle back up.

But the girl had already figured things out. As the Spy came into view, she had crawled hastily to the Scattergun she had dropped to use the Kukri instead. Pulling it up, she pointed it at the Spy's back, and pulled the trigger without hesitation, screaming as the gun went off. As the residual noise echoed through her ears, Lily felt a rush of air against one side of her body, and didn't realize that she was falling. Yet, as the dusty terrain hit her hard in the side, the world around her dissolved.

* * *

_I'm dead. I died in my favorite video game world. And to make matters worse, I'm dead and covered with the piss of the one game character I obsess over. Game over, Lily. Game over._

"She alright, doc?"

"Ja, just a bit shaken-up."

_...Theodore? The Medic? Did they not make it either?_

"Man...I can't believe the chick wasn't bullshittin' me."

_Benjamin's here, too? Aw man, I'm in hell! But wait, it doesn't make sense. Let me just..._

Letting out a soft groan, Lily fought to open her eyes. The first thing she was greeted with was a blinding light, which brought her to groan even louder. "Ugh...the hell...?"

"Hey, she's wakin' up."

Biting her lip hard, the young woman pressed her palms against whatever she was lying on, and forced herself to sit up. The blur in her green eyes began to dissipate, and the next thing she saw surprised her. She was in what looked like a hospital bed, and the Medic, Dimitri, Benjamin, Theodore, and the Sniper stood around it. She backed up abruptly, until she hit the metal framing behind her. "Whoa, claustrophobia much."

"How you feelin', honey?" Theodore, who had taken off his hardhat and let his goggles rest around his neck, smiled at her.

"...So I didn't die?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Shut up, Benjamin," the Medic snapped, before sighing heavily and returning his attention to Lily." Qvite the opposite, fräulein. A few scratches, und your hand vas close to getting an infection, but it's wrapped up now."

"Oh?" Looking down, Lily took a gaze at her hand, and saw that it was wrapped up with possibly two feet of cloth bandage, held together with surgical tape. Two smaller bandages were placed on her arms, and another larger one was put on her right ankle. "Uhm...thanks, doc."

"It's nothing," he countered in a quite matter-of-fact tone. "It is my job."

"Still, thanks." Lily smiled, before looking at Theodore. "So, if I didn't die, what the heck happened out there?"

"Had your first kill, honey," he said with a smile, which made Lily shudder. He laughed. "Yeah, you took down a Spy."

"...Did I?" Lily turned to the Sniper, eyes begging for the truth.

"Too right, little sheila. That shot a' yours saved me."

"Bullcrap. You had to have killed him."

With a sigh, the Sniper crossed his arms. "How could I do that, when ya swiped my Kukri an' I couldn't get my gun fast enough?" His brow rose.

Lily opened her mouth, trying to think of a protest, but finally gave in and just pouted. "Just another lucky break..."

"Luck had nothin' to do with it, Lil'," Theodore said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I dunno how the hell it happened, but you ended up safe. After you shot that Scattergun, you passed out. It's a shame, 'cuz you missed hearin' that we got that last point."

"Oh, awesome."

"Yep. Believe it or not, other than him-" The Engineer pointed to the Sniper. "-the only one to see what you did was Benjamin."

"...And this is where the plot thickens still." Grinning, Lily turned to the Scout, and grinned widely. "Believe me now, you nagging son-of-a-biscuit?"

"Yeah, I do..." he admitted, lips slightly pursed and head hanging low as if he were a young child who had just lost a game. "Still, I ain't apologizin' for anythin' I did or said earliah'. Ya made fun of my name, an' ya just plain piss me o-"

"Leetle Scout needs to be quiet," the Heavy announced in a low tone, placing his thick hand over Benjamin's mouth. "Voice will give girl, and everyone else, headache."

"Aw, Dimitri." Lily squealed slightly in delight. "You're too kind." She then looked down at the Scout, who was fighting his hardest to push the Minigun-sporting man's meaty hand away from his face, yelling out muffled curses against it. Finally, after thirty seconds or so, he silenced, eyes narrowed in unadulterated loathing at the girl, which made everyone else in the room laugh.

"Hey, I'm just messing with you, Ben," Lily giggled. "Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Lily." The Medic spoke up, and everyone turned and looked at him. "You should probably get some more sleep. I know you're not seriously injured, but you should stay in bed and relax for a few more hours." He then turned to his fellow team members. "That means all of you need to vacate ze infirmary."

"Gotcha, doc," Theodore replied, answering for everyone. "Let's go, guys. Feel better, Lil'."

"Thanks, The-" _Guuurguglrhlgrll. _Lily let out a small, embarrassed whine, before looking down at her stomach, mentally cursing it. Her appetite always had to kick in at the most inappropriate of times.

Theodore heard the growl, and blinked once or twice before giving a hearty laugh, shaking his head. "No worries. I'll go get ya somethin' to eat."

**I hate fight scenes. GRAH! I really hope I did get this done at least semi-well; I'm just used to drama and romance, not this stuff. Anyways, R&R, blah blah blah. Y'all know the drill. And for those of you with Macs, you better start playin' TF2, or you're just missing out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, well. After a cruise to Bermuda, several dramatic twists in my life, and a move back onto campus for my second year of college, here we frickin' go! I'm so sorry about the delay. Hope you guys still have an...appetite for this story. The fun has just started.**

A small yawn escaping her, Lily propped herself up once again in the infirmary bed and looked down at herself. Bandaged up, knees scuffed from taking the fall onto the dry, rough Badland terrain. She could feel her face sting a bit, and guessed that it had been scratched, cleaned with alcohol, and was now burning.

"God, how did I not leave Fastlane with a broken bone or something?" she asked herself, reaching up and fixing a clump of hair that had formed from lying down.

"'Cuz you seem t' know your way 'round this war better than I'da thought."

The track rat turned her head toward the entrance to the room and spotted a few friendly faces: Theodore, whom Lily thought at this point could be her second father, the Sniper, and strangely enough, the Pyro. All of them held plates of food.

"How ya feelin', sheila?" the Sniper asked, pocketing his pack of cigarettes that his other hand grasped. His sunglasses were off and hanging from the collar of his shirt.

"…"

"…Uh, Lily?"

Snapping out of her daze of seeing the Sniper's unshielded eyes, Lily chuckled nervously. "Heh, yeah, I'm alright," she said, cheeks flaring up. "Uh…that was the question asked, right? About how I was?" _Dammit, Lily, you're on a friggin' roll today!_

"Too right." Heading for the chair closest to the side of her bed, the Sniper reached out with his free hand and bumped his fist teasingly against her arm.

"Mrrph mmf mr mrph mrrmphr," said the Pyro, handing Lily the plate in his hand before taking a seat himself. Resting on the edge of the plate was a fork.

"Uh…thanks, Pyro," she said with half a smile before looking over at the Sniper with a clear look of 'what on earth did he say.'

"He said he brought some food for ya," the Sniper replied, chuckling. "Pyro's the best cook outta all of us mates. He made spaghetti tonight."

"Oh, sweet." Lily looked down at her plate, eyeing the large mound of pasta on it with almost desperate hunger. It only took one whiff of it for her to grab her fork from its perch and dig in, definitely less than ladylike in manner, too.

Theodore raised his brow, looking at his two comrades before gawking back at the girl. "Uhm, when was the last time you ate anythin', honey?" he asked.

"Nine o'clock yesterday morning," the girl answered after swallowing another bite. "Had to run to class so I only grabbed a bagel from the dining hall and sprinted across campus."

"I see…" The Engineer blinked behind his goggles before taking a bite himself. "That would explain why you're so skinny, girl. Now tell me somethin': when did the whole thing with you appearin' out of nowhere happen over on…your end?"

"Around five or six in the evening." This time, Lily's mouth was filled almost to capacity with spaghetti. "Man, this stuff is great, Pyro."

"Mrrph mrr." Hearing the praise, the Pyro stuck his thumb up.

"Aren't you gonna eat any of it, dude? I mean, you did make one hell of a meal."

"Pyro usually waits for all us t' go t' bed before snackin'," Theodore replied. Gazing over at the clock on the wall, he then turned to the flamethrower-wielding militant. "Brother, your show's on."

"Mrrph!" Standing up and pushing the chair aside a bit, the Pyro walked closer to the side of the bed, reaching out and giving Lily's head a light tussle, making her narrow her eyes. Then, with a simple 'mrrph-mph,' he was out of the room.

"…Uhh, what's he missing?" Lily's eyebrow rose.

"_The Honeymoonuhs_," the Sniper responded, placing his empty plate on the side table next to Lily's infirmary bed. "The man's a big fan a' shows like that. He loves his comedies."

But most of the Sniper's words seemed to go in one ear and out the other the second Lily spotted the empty plate. Her mouth went slightly agape. Even in her rush to fill her stomach, there was still a decent amount of food left on her own plate. "What, are you a vacuum cleaner or something, Sniper?"

The Aussie laughed. "I've always been a quick eatuh', little sheila," he explained, taking off his hat and resting it on his lap. "I get an appetite easily, an' thankfully, my metabolism is pretty speedy."

"Hopefully, that won't change. Don't think the RED Team could afford to have a chunky Sniper."

"Heh, yeah. I'd be more concerned 'bout my bum bein' too big, rather than aimin' at the other team."

Whether or not this was a joke or pure truth, Lily laughed either way. The mental images of the rifle-toting man gazing into the mirror, his back turned to it so he could get a better view of his backside, was almost too much to bear. Theodore couldn't help but let out a laugh of his own, while trying to eat another bite of his spaghetti.

"Thanks for the mental pictures, Ruben," he said, shaking his head.

"…Ruben?" Lily blinked a few times. "That's your name?"

"Absolutely." The Sniper smiled. "My apologies for not tellin' ya that earliuh'."

"Oh, no. It's alright. Kinda hard to have a formal introduction when we're right in the middle of the battlefield, you know."

"Heh, good point."

"So…could you perhaps tell me what everyone else's names are?" Lily's emerald eyes began to sparkle with curiosity. Of course, from reading up on trivia on the Team Fortress 2 website, she knew the RED Demoman's name – Tavish Degroot – but she would keep that to herself for now.

"Hmm…" Theodore placed his empty plate on Ruben's, before he began to speak again. "Well, y' know my name, an' the Scout an' Heavy's. Our Demoman's name is Tavish, the Soldier is Charles, the Spy is Jean-Luc, an' the Medic is Klaus."

"...Jean-Luc?" Lily interrupted, smirking. _Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise. _Shaking herself out of her think bubble full of ridiculous internet memes, she continued. "But wait…what about the Pyro? What's his name?"

Both with looks of confusion, Theodore and – turned to look at each other, before looking back at her. "We…dunno," Ruben answered slowly. "We never did find out the Pyro's name. In fact, we're not even sure if it's a mate or a sheila. We jus' always assumed it was a man."

_Ah, so in real life, they don't know what the Pyro is either_, Lily thought, scratching the back of her head. _Maybe __that could be a mystery I could crack for myself… _"I like it."

"Hmm?" The Sniper raised his brow. "Wot do you like?"

"Your name." Lily's cheeks turned bright pink. "It really suits you."

Ruben blinked a few times, then chuckled and reached forward, tussling her hair. "Thanks, sheila."

The girl blinked, before swatting his hand away, lips in a pout. Ruben cocked a brow.

"Sorry," she apologized, face loosening again. "I just don't like the whole tussling thing. Or being picked up when hugged. Or anything like that. Makes me feel like a little kid..."

"...Uhm, then I'll remembuh' that." The Sniper laughed nervously.

After a few moments of silence, the noise was broken by Theodore clearing his throat. "So, Lily, care t' tell us a bit 'bout your home?" He asked, finishing his meal. "Like, 'bout your college an' stuff like that?"

Slurping up a rogue noodle, Lily nodded, clearing her throat before beginning. "Well, I'm an English major and psychology minor at the University of Pittsburgh," she began. "I'm in my junior year. Gonna turn twenty-one in July." A fist-pump. "Finally gonna be legal."

"You already are."

Lily blinked, turning to Theodore. "...'Scuse me?"

"Yer legal, honey. The drinkin' age is eighteen in the states."

The track rat slowly shook her head. "Nuh-uh. It's twen-" She stopped herself yet again. "Oh, that's right. The drinking age changes between our times. In the twenty-first century, it's twenty-one. And, either way, kids still consume alcohol like it's candy and end up dead. Such is the college life."

At this, Ruben raised his brow. "...Do ya drink a lot, sheila?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that. Probably get tipsy once a weekend. But not on cheap liquor. We all drink wine."

The Sniper smiled and nodded, but Theodore let out a disgusted noise. "Wine? Honey, I can't live without my beer. Or bourbon. But wine is just...ugh, it's terrible."

Lily rolled her eyes and laughed. "You big baby. Wine is frickin' delicious. Especially when it's either in champagne or white form and comes with strawberry puree mixed in. Mm-mm-mm!"

Theodore blinked, before groaning and rubbing his temple. "Well, if one of the many doubts I have 'bout you was what gender you really were, you just cleared that up for me."

"Hey!"

Ruben snickered. "Awful explosive, ain't ya?" He looked up at Lily, eyes meeting hers in a friendly manner, before one of them winked.

"Yeah...so? Anyway, where was I?"

"School." Theodore aided the girl, before taking her empty plate and stacking it on top of the others. He'd take them out later, once Lily wanted alone time.

"Oh, yeah! Durr. Anyway, I wanted to go to cooking school, but my mother kinda looked down on that. I'm a fantastic cook, if I do say so myself, so at least I'd be entertained if I were reduced to being a housewife. But, I want to be a writer. Maybe someone who writes about the world's finest restaurants. Or maybe I could have my own travel magazine."

Theodore's brows were both raised. He was...impressed. Sure, in the good US of A, most women were housewives, but it was a nice change to see a girl aspire to be something more. Either way, there was no way in hell that a girl this outgoing was going to agree to being cooped up in a house all day. "Seems like you got everythin' figured out, huh?"

"You betcha." Lily had a look a pure pride on her face now, lips curled up in a wide smile. "I just love writing. I type every day. Other than that, I like taking nature hikes in the mountains, and playing video games. Where I come from, they're almost as big as movies."

"Yeah, 'bout video games..." Theodore now had a look of discomfort on his face. "What exactly are they...? An' what makes you think we're in one?"

The girl paused, before letting out a heavy sigh. This was going to take a while. "Well...they're interactive stories made to be played on a computer system, a gaming console. In my time, there are thousands of them, about all different kinds of things. Role-playing, horror... They're almost like stepping in the shoes of a fictional character and having them go through scenarios to do silly things." She paused, before continuing, feeling her stomach turn a bit. "As for you guys...well, you're all a part of a game in my world called _Team Fortress 2_. In the game, people can control any of you guys - how you shoot, where you go, who you kill. Everything."

The Sniper and and Engineer both turned and looked at each other, confusion and denial in both their eyes. Theodore sighed, running his hand over his bald head. "God, after the alcohol chat an' this shit, I'ma need somethin' heavy. But...continue, I guess."

"...You sure? Dude, you look like you're gonna be sick."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He almost snapped at her. "I just...aw hell, there's just no way this can be real."

Lily sighed. "Anyway, you all do exist in my world, but only in another world, I guess... If you really want proof, get my cellphone from Benjamin's ro-"

"You're wot?" Ruben blinked.

"My cell- oh, fuck it. I give up. I'll just show you guys later. And you are _not _allowed to take it apart; I need it."

"...Eh, not a problem, Lil'. Anyways, you wanna get some sleep?" Deep down, both of them wanted her to say yes. This was far too much for them.

Unfortunately for them, Lily wasn't stupid. Nor ignorant. She could tell that they were getting more and more uncomfortable around her. And while she didn't blame them - hell, the 'I'm-from-another-dimension' line didn't work in situations real or fictional - it upset her. Wasn't she allowed to be upset by what was happening?

"Hey, guys, newsflash: don't you think that _I'm _scared, too? I mean, I'm in a place that I've never been in, miles and dimensions and years away from where I belong, and I've been trying to hold it together." Her hands clenched into fists, and she felt her throat seize up and quiver. "My friends and family are probably forever out of my reach, unless this is just one big damn dream, which I'm still hoping it is. I mean, hell, I could still be in my dorm room, probably passed out before dinner and unable to wake up." Lily could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and brought one hand up quickly to prevent any from falling. Pinching the uppermost part of her nose's bridge, fingertips pressed to the corners of her eyes, she choked down a sob. "I could have died, and I could still die."

The sight was enough to make the Engineer's heart crumble into rubble. He almost felt like he had made his daughter cry. Well, if he had one. Biting his lip, he sighed and got up from his seat, sitting on the edge of the infirmary bed and placing his large, thick hand on Lily's thin shoulder. "Lily...please calm down," he said, trying to sound as comforting as possible. "I'm really sorry. I can't help it that this whole rig-a-marol' has got us all baffled."

"Yeah, no shit." Lily sniffled, looking up.

"Y'know we both didn't mean anythin' by it, Lil'," Ruben added. "An' I'm sorry, too."

Putting out one hand while the other one wiped away a tear, the young girl tried to smile, though her eyes were still moist. "No, no, it's alright. I'm just being a baby." She sighed. "I just don't know what to do in this situation, y'know? And I thought going abroad for school was going to be a challenge. At this point, I'd rather be stuck in another country."

"Don't blame ya, honey." Chuckling, Theodore brought his arm around Lily, and gave her a half-hug. "We'll figure things out, promise."

"You better..." Lily grinned. "After a few weeks, I can guarantee you that I'll drive you all nuts. But, if Benji kills me by the end of the week, you can easily forget me. Simple as that."

"That brat'd be outta here fastuh' than you, little sheila," Ruben countered. "Can't stand that miniatuh' devil's spawn for more than a half hour." That's when the wheels began turning in the mercenary's head. "Hey, mate. Do we have any empty barrack rooms cleaned out? Or any that can be?"

Theodore shrugged. "There has t' be two or three left in that buildin'." Turning to Lily, he smiled. "You wouldn't mind gettin' your own room, would ya?"

"Hell no!" With a joyful giggle, the track rat threw her arms around him. "Thank you so much!"

"Not a problem, honey. Hell, you got one hell of a grip."

"Sorry." Lily quickly retreated, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. Yet, as she felt it, she grimaced. "Ugh, I need to shower."

"Yeah, you do." Theodore chuckled. "Want us t' take you to the locker room? There're some extra towels hangin' in there. You can get clean an' we'll leave some clean clothes for you on a bench or somethin'."

"Will the Medic let me leave?"

"We nevuh' listen to th' doc anyways," Ruben said with a laugh.

"Guess that works for me!" Ecstatic, Lily hopped out of the bed and onto the floor. Though her right leg was a bit sore, she grinned through it. "Lead the way, guys."

**HOMYGOD, I'm so sorry for the long wait, guys. Friggin' job and then school got in the way. I hope I kept my old fans, and that hopefully I'll get new ones from this story. Though, if you're not interested in waiting for chapters anymore, I'll understand. Please comment with your opinions, and I promise the next chapter will have more to offer you readers. I know this was kind of a 'meh' chapter, but I wanted to concentrate more on Lily's predicament this time. And of course, filler chapters can be funny and crap like that. So yeah...let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Holy guacamole...! Has it really been seven months since I last updated? Well, in that case, you guys are all in for a treat. Hopefully I didn't lose too many fans making them wait all this time. This chapter should be a goodie, I hope. Also, we seem to have something blossoming between Ruben and Lily. Let's see if that can grow and come to fruition. Wee-hee!**

**Also, I noticed that my chapter is coming out around the same time as the Uber Update in TF2. As well as the "Meet the Medic" video. BAHAHA!**

**5**

"Thank god for hot water..."

Lily stood facing the faucet, eyes closed in bliss as she had submerged herself in the steamy cloud that was now the shower stall she stood in. A note on each entrance to the locker room, to keep anyone from getting in while she was pretty much naked and vulnerable, she had taken the next twenty minutes to shower off everything that was making her stink from that first battle. She had just washed the shampoo from her hair, which was unisex and unscented, really the only thing the men at the RED base were given for bathing. Not like she minded; she just didn't want to smell like sweat, urine, and other filth.

After washing the suds off her body, the shower was turned off, and Lily reached for the towel hanging over the wall separating her stall from another. Slicking her hair back, she wrapped the towel around herself, the slight curvature of the tops of her breasts barely exposed, while her bottom was covered completely. She walked out, heading out of the shower area, and heading for the locker area, before something caught her eye.

It was a bundle wrapped in newsprint and held together with twine, and it looked a bit bulging. Eyebrow cocked, Lily walked over to it and sat down on the bench, pulling the twine away to pull the casing off the package. When she saw what was inside, she didn't know how to respond. Inside was a pair of high-rising cuffed shorts in black, a bright red belt, and a ribbed tank top to match the belt. Beneath the clothes were her Converse.

"...Okay, this is cute," Lily said with a laugh. Pulling the clothing out, she dried herself off well, before slipping on the tank top. She looked down and rolled her eyes when her breasts looked as if they were going to poke holes in the shirt. "Note to self: get my bra cleaned..." She then looked down at her completely nude lower half. "And some underwear."

Just as she was about to slip into the pants, she heard the door from the distant end of the locker room slam open. "What the-?" Panicking, Lily pulled the pants all the way on, ignoring the slight chafing, and reached for the belt. Turning her head, she heard the footsteps get closer, and who do you suppose turned the corner?

Benjamin.

Seeing who the intruder really was, Lily rolled her eyes and leaned against a locker, shaking her head. "You're kidding me, right?" she asked, a brow raised in irritation. "Didn't you see the sign on the door saying to wait? I was gonna take 'em down when I was finished!"

"Da fuck do I care?" he said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Ya done anyways. B'sides, I ain't one t' hog up da whole lockah' room."

"Did your mother ever teach you any manners? When a lady is present, y'know, you're supposed to maybe act like a gentleman? Or at least someone with an IQ higher than 50?" She reached for the belt given to her and adjusted it on her pants.

"Oh, yer a lady? Oops." A wickedly cruel smile was flashed in Lily's direction, before the Scout kicked off his shoes and went to remove his shirt.

Lily produced a melodramatic scoff, before making a face like she was in deep thought. "You're right," she said. "I can see how my tomboyish habits can make me come off as a guy. Well, maybe I should just pull off my shirt, or my pants, and give you concrete proof. We both know it'd be the first set of tits or female parts that you've seen that wasn't printed on a piece of glossed paper!" The wicked smile was returned as the girl beamed in pride. _Man, I'm getting good at this._

"Dammit, enough wit' da virgin bullshit! I ain't no virgin. I'm twenty yeahs old, fer cryin' out loud!"

"So am I, cupcake. But unfortunately for you, I was able to feel another man's skin on mine at age seventeen. Oh, how rude of me - I'm terrible sorry! I didn't realize you might be jealous that you haven't found Mister Right yet." She cocked her brow, waiting for his response. Lily: at least 4. Benjamin: 0.

Growling in aggravation, Benjamin glared at her, before leaving for the showers. "Eh, screw you; I'm gettin' th' hell away from ya..."

"Love you too, Ben-ben!" Lily listened before she heard a more enraged growl. Face bright with victory, she grabbed her dirty clothes and rolled them up, before tucking them under her arm. She slipped into her shoes and headed for the door out of the locker room, opening it to remove the sign pasted on the back of it declaring her need for privacy. "There we go..." She crumpled it up in one hand, tossing it in a nearby trashcan set out in the hall, before walking down it, trying to remember the way back to the barracks.

With nine men living in one facility, Lily had thought she would run into one of them, or at least hear one of them, in the halls. But no, complete silence. The only sound she could hear was the occasional squeaking of her shoes on the linoleum floors. "Alright, this is just plain spooky," she muttered to herself, still limping ever so slightly from her injuries. Her legs were badly bruised - she had seen large purple marks on her legs while showering - so moving on them was a bit of a burden. Finally, she came across a sign that read 'BARRACKS' in large letters above one corridor's entrance, and smiled, walking in.

Finally, she spotted a sign of life. Wiping his head and stepping out a room a bit farther down the hall was Theodore, his tool belt on as well as his goggles. Turning his head, he spotted the young woman heading toward him and gave a friendly smile, waving. "Hey, Lil'!" he called out. "How was showerin'?"

Lily shrugged as she came to stand in front of the Engineer. "Meh. Hot, steamy. A bit wet from all the water." She giggled a bit.

Theodore sighed. "Oh, hush," he muttered, reaching out to tussle her hair, forgetting her rule. Lily only narrowed her eyes, but let it go because of who was doing it. It almost felt no different from her own father. "So, I cleaned out a room for ya. An' maybe...went a bit loco an' added a few other touches here n' there."

"One question: is there any pink, orange, or yellow involved?"

An eyebrow raised, the Engineer poked his head into the room, before bringing it back out and shaking his head with a smile. "Uh, nope. Didn't paint it. Not sure that's allowed here, y'know. I jus' decorated it the same way I'd do if'n I was doin' amateur interior design for a teenager. Plus, I...threw in somethin' that can hopefully replace that MP-whatchamacallit I tore apart."

"Oh?" Without even asking if she could see the room, Lily rushed in and looked around. The bed was made up, which matched the rest of the beds in the barracks: red comforter with white sheets. Three pillows rested against the headboard, while there were only one per bed in Benjamin's room. On the dresser were a few large magazines and catalogs catering to people in her age group. A record player was placed on the corner of the dresser, a stack of records resting next to it. And to top it all off, an old-fashioned typewriter was resting next to all that, a stack of blank papers at the ready.

Lily's lips curled into a large smile, but before she could express her thanks, Theodore walked up behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Yep, it's ain't the most comf'table yet, but it'll git there. The catalogs I left our are for orderin' anything you may need: snacks, clothin', pretty much everythin' else. As for the record player, go an' see what I picked out. Lemme know whatcha' think."

Only turning back to nod, Lily moved forward and picked up the stack, her green eyes going wide when she saw the names in there. "Jimi Hendrix...The Doors...Jethro Tull...The Who?" Not even bothering to gaze through the rest, she put the stack down and looked over at Theodore. "...You'd make a damn good dad, Theo."

Chuckling, the man felt his face turn red as he reached up to scratch behind his head. "Heh, damn nice a' ya to say, Lil'. Glad ya like it." Giving her a pat on the shoulder, he sighed. "Well, might as well let ya make yerself at home. If ya need anythin' from the catalogs, just lemme know an' gimme a list. Be more 'n happy to mail out an order."

Laughing softly, Lily turned around and gave the Engineer the biggest hug she could. "Thank you so much, Theo," she whispered. "I don't deserve all this kindness from you."

"Yer not used t' dealin' with Ben's bullshit quite yet," he said, hugging back. "Might as well balance it with come Southern kindness." Letting the girl go, he gave a small wave, before turning his back. "You should probably get some sleep, honey. You've had a long day."

"Goodnight, Engie," she said, winking before closing the door softly behind him. Turning around, all the girl could think to do was squeal and run over to the stack of records, taking them in her grasp before jumping onto her bed. "Time for some 'Purple Haze' and chillin' out!"

* * *

It was around nine in the morning when Lily woke up, but not from her own biological clock. Sure enough, she got herself a good ol' Bostonian wakeup call. The sound of Benjamin's loud scatting made her growl, but grin as her gaze wandered down to see her Converse just sitting at the side of her bed on the floor. Picking it up, she tossed it between her hands and sat up, waiting for the right moment when he was just by her door.

"Jackpot," she whispered, before giving it a hard toss against the door, causing a loud bang.

"DA FUCK!" The Scout nearly pounced out of his slippers and backed up against the opposite wall, staring at the door. He tried to regulate his breathing, before he could hear soft feminine laughing coming from the other side of the door. Growling, he continued to where his destination lay, cursing about how evil women were. This only caused the laughing to grow louder, and by then Benjamin was fuming.

Meanwhile, Lily had buried her head in her pillow, allowing herself to come off her giggling spree. As she calmed, she sat up, and looked out the window. It was a strange world out there - sands already heated to scalding temperatures under the Badlands sun. The rogue sound of a vulture circling the premises, looking for the corpse of a rodent or even one of a dead mercenary. The sounds of gunshots ringing out in the distance.

Hold the phone. Gunshots?

Fixing her hair, Lily slipped on her shoes and exited the room, looking down the hall to make sure a certain boy wasn't waiting to jump her. The coast clear, she headed down the hallway toward the end of the barracks, and headed down another, letting her ears guide her to the sounds of the gunshots. She cut down another small hallway, then came to a wing that looked like it had been recently added to the premises, as the details of the walls and flooring were a bit more pristine. On and on she walked, before coming to one room with a scope target symbol on the door. Next to the door, on a new brass panel in small lettering, it read "SHOOTING RANGE." The girl pushed open the door, and headed inside, to see exactly the kind of scene she envisioned: five separate shooting stalls, two of them occupied, and the sound of small explosions and gun barrels blasting into the air.

Lily walked in and closed the door, to see one person step out of his stall. Or rather, try and squeeze out. It was the Heavy, Dimitri. He did a double take when he spotted the young girl in the room, before placing his rifle down. "Vhy ees leetle lady in the shooting range?" he asked in almost the tone of a gentle giant.

Lily laughed softly. "Oh, I just heard shooting from my room, so I figure I-"

"Aye, wot's dat fem'nine-like sound I hear?" The two turned around to see none other than the Demoman stumble out of his respective stall, bottle of whiskey in his hands. "Ah, th' lass from th' lock'rr. G'mornin'."

Lily bit her lip and raised her brow teasingly. "Drunk already, Tavish?" she asked, walking over. "What kinda stuff you downin'?"

"Nothin' but th' finest whiskey in all a' Scotland. Havin' money gets ya places, lass." He handed the bottle to her, which the young girl looked at and took.

"So, by places, you mean in a ditch, in someone's bathtub, or with paint all over your face and in a bed with a strange woman?" Chuckling, she gripped the neck of the bottle, brought it to her lips, and began to take a sip. Her eyes went wide with disgust and she pulled the bottle away hastily from her mouth, coughing with a look of pure displeasure on her face. She handed the bottle back to Tavish, who only laughed along with Dimitri.

"Can't hold yer liquor, lass?" he asked, taking a swig himself like the toxic mixture was water.

"I can hold my liquor just fine," Lily replied. "That...that was just nasty, dude. I wouldn't drink that if I had the worst case of heart disease in the books."

"...Whiskey can cure heart disease?" The Heavy scratched his bald head.

"Yeah! Didn't you kno- ...oh, forget it." Lily sighed. "So, were you two practicing?"

"Aye." Tavish took yet another sip. "Gotta keep our aim perfect for takin' down BLUs."

"...and you do it drunk."

"'Ey, it works." Reaching down, the Demoman picked up his Stickybomb launcher with his free hand, and held it out. "Care t' try it?"

Lily didn't even need to hear the words that followed the physical offer, as she took the weapon from the Demoman. She stumbled a bit as she came to terms with how heavy it was, before pressing the rather large trigger. On command, the spiky, red ball was launched out and attached itself to a nearby wall.

"I...think you miss target," Dimitri said confused, pointing at the end of the shooting range, where a target painted blue was sitting.

"So? It shouldn't blow up near any of us, right?" Lily turned to look at Tavish. "How does it figure out which are BLUs?"

"Somethin' called a 'color sensor,'" he replied. "I'unno, Engie explained it t' us. Those clothes a' all them BLU dandies must se' it off."

"Oh?" Walking over to the wall, the young girl got about two feet away from the Stickybomb. She then held out her hand, waving it in front of it, wondering if it would set the device off. Sure enough, it didn't. "...That's awesome."

"Quite." Tavish walked over, pulling the gun a bit clumsily out of her grasp. "But yer grip on it was horrid. Let's find ye' another gun." Walking over to a rather large metal cabinet that spread over a length of twelve feet of wall, the Demoman slid one of the door toward the cabinet's center, displaying a rather impressive collection of weapons for each class. It was a sight enough to make Lily's mouth salivate, and her inner gamer want to giggle like a trigger-happy idiot. "These here 're all the weapons we use in battle with th' BLUs. Rumor's got it that ye' gonna be workin' with us 'cuz a' yer mastery o' 'dat Spy. Might's well get bearin's on somethin'."

As Lily took one step forward, she heard the even louder footsteps of Dimitri's walking toward the exit. "I must off to give Sasha her daily polish. Be careful with new leetle teammate, Demoman," he said in almost a concerned tone, before offering one nod to Lily and taking his leave.

"Aye..." Grumbling something else, Tavish walked closer to the exposed half of the cabinet, looking around before pulling out a shotgun, one of the more common, standard weapons of either team in the game of Team Fortress 2. He handed it off to Lily, and then walked her over to a fresh stall, a new target lying out a distance for her. "Y'see that there? Give it a shot."

"Not a problem." With a confident grin, Tavish still unaware of the girl's experience with guns, she raised it, aligning it with her arms and focusing the end of the barrel the right way for a good ten seconds. After double- and triple-checking, she closed her farthest eye, felt her tongue lightly jut out from the corner of her mouth, and pulled the trigger. A small tremor of recoil erupted in her arms, and as she looked up, she was disappointed when her bullet just clipped the border between the farthest and second farther rings out. "Aw...poop."

"Hmm, well maybe distances aren't ye' cup o' tea." Tavish slid the shotgun from Lily's grasp, before walking over to the cabinet. "Guess ye' should stick to a weapon that's better close up." That's when the liquor seemed to leave its spot as dominant thinking force, and the Demoman was able to put two and two together. "Wait, that's it!"

"...what?"

"Yer gonna be a Scoot, jus' like Benneh!"

"I'm gonna _what_?" Lily felt as if her life was flashing before her eyes. Sure, she could play the game, but could she really fight the battle?

"Be a Scoot! Y'know... run 'roond with a gu-"

"I know what a Scout does!" Lily's voice squeaked. "But...I have to be on the front lines for that! I just got here and you already want me dead? Da hell, Tavish!"

"I'm not sayin' yer gonna have t' be up there with Benjamin yet," the Scotsman defended, putting his hands up. "But, trainin' as one and gettin' used t' the weapons an' how t' move would be ideal. Fer you, a quick escape would be easeh!"

It was then that Lily's eyes started to lose their shine, her face its lively peach color. She looked almost like death had overtaken her. "...I...can I have more of your whiskey, dude?"

"Wot?" Tavish looked back at his bottle, before giving a roar of laughter. Patting Lily's shoulder hard, he didn't even notice her squeak again in discomfort before resuming. "Yer gonna be fine, lass! We've got the bes' medical services gover'men' money can buy. An' you'd be a perfect Scoot. It won't be all that hard!"

_Tavish DeGroot...you sir, are one wrong son-of-a-bitch..._

* * *

Fingers attached to pure white knuckles clutched a toilet seat in the barracks lavatory. Lily groaned, hearing it echo in the porcelain well surrounding her face, displaying numbed fear. One swig of whiskey and a business 'proposition' to put her life on the line had done simply _wonders _to her stomach. With each recollection of the scene back at the shooting range, another pulse of nausea shook her digestive system, followed by another maybe five minutes later. As she became fairly certain that her stomach held no more, she gave a whimper and rested against the wall next to the stall, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

_Why the hell did this have to happen to me_, she wondered in silence, still trying to make sense of it all. Sure, most everyone seemed friendly enough, but at the end of the day, what came with it? Why, only the promise of another dance with death on the Badland grounds. At this rate, she wouldn't even make it out of this dimension alive. _I want to go home! I want to see Bianca again. I want to be with the girls talking about board games in the dining hall. Why do I have to be here? I don't want to die. I don't want to die..._

Lily's green eyes welled up with tears. After the tears came a sob, followed by the shutting down of her defenses. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she brought them against her already tender stomach and rested her forehead on her knees. She didn't care if any or even all of the others came in and found her in her position. Humiliation wrapped in estrogen was the least of her problems at this rate. She could do nothing, and no amount of sleep or wishing it away was going to do anything at all. The world of Team Fortress 2 was no longer a place where Lily found comfort in after a long day of classes. It had become the only reality she was allowed to know, the only one she existed in at the moment. She'd be damned if it was destined to become her grave as well.

"What am I gonna do...?" she whispered out hoarsely. "Do I really have to fight my way out of here until I can go home? What happens if I...?"

Any thought the young girl had formed took its hold as she choked out another sob and buried her face yet again. If she made it out of this, she swore video games would never again catch her interest. If by some miracle she was able to return, more than likely she'd develop a phobia of them. Of course, throwing away a couple hundred dollars was the least of her problems. Her situation was as impossible as situations could be. She had to hold out for something. A miracle, some kind of driving force...

Home.

Lily felt the muscles in her chest tighten as she fought to stand up straight. Her back pressing against the wall to steady herself, she gave herself time to think logically. Sure, her situation was terrible, but she wasn't making it any better. She would have to fight. It was out of the question. If she wanted to have any chance of returning to the twenty-first century and her dimension, she'd have to help the others and give the Engineer enough of an ability to plan on how to get home.

Opening the stall, the young girl walked ever so slowly out of it, as well as the lavatory, and down the hall. Heading back toward the shooting range, the only thought active in her brain at that point was whether the Scattergun was on the left or right side of the metal cabinet.

**Get pumped, guys! Our little Lily is growing up, and it looks like we can see big things headed her way, as well as ours. Comments would be loved greatly, and after I get enough, I should have a good grasp on how to take the next chapter. Love the feedback, kiddies! Hope you're enjoying the ride.**


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